VIDEO: The First 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Teaser Is Here, and It's WEIRD

The Today Show aired a first look at the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles teaser trailer, and I'm sure anyone who actually caught it probably went to work incapable of thinking about anything else, strictly for how horrifying these damn turtles look.

Okay, that's kind of a gross over-exaggeration, but there's a lot about this that is straight out of the uncanny valley, from the inexplicable height of the Turtles, to the faces that recall nightmares of Clint Howard. Basically, this looks like a horror movie masquerading as a popcorn summer blockbuster. But hey, what else would you expect from Michael Bay, who's producing this thing and changing the Turtles' origin in the process? “Heroes are not born, they’re created. That’s what your father and I were trying to do: create heroes,” William Fichtner's character tells April O'Neil (Megan Fox, ugh), implying that it was her father who was actually responsible for the creation of these guys. Granted, it's not as bad as the "They're aliens now, you guys!" rumors that were swirling around a year ago, but what's so bad about pet shop turtles getting accidentally dropped into a puddle of mutagen? What's so ridiculous about that, Hollywood?!

You can check out the full sneak peek below, with the full trailer coming soon: