True Blood - Season 5 Episode 3 - Recap and Review - Whatever I Am, You Made Me

The third episode in True Blood's fifth season, "Whatever I Am, You Made Me" really got the ball rolling. At this point, I'm used to True Blood taking three-quarters of a season to develop conflicts, and then taking its final few episodes to let them detonate. This season, though, seems like it's going to pick up fast, and what began as a series of separate problems are slowly beginning to entangle into one big and bloody mess. That's how we like it!

The episode opened with bushbaby Tara (Rutina Wesley) gazing up at the night sky, looking all wide-eyed, as if she had never seen the night sky before. She's a vampire now, and everything is heightened. We haven't really seen this side to the vampire instinct on True Blood yet. We've caught glimpses of what nature could be like when human characters used V, but for a second there you would have thought Tara appreciated being a vampire, especially after her face wound healed. Sookie (Anna Paquin) and Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) come barreling through the woods, chasing after her like a couple of hooligans, and it's no wonder Tara wants to get away from them.

Back in front of the Authority, Bill (Stephen Moyer) and Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) are feeling pretty good! The council is torn, but they seem to have the key players on their side. Roman (Christopher Meloni) and Salome (Valentine Cervi) know that the world cannot know that Russell was not executed, as Nan had previously announced. Roman has worked hard, and doesn't want his legacy erased. Later, they wire Bill and Eric up with special heart monitors, in the shape of crosses, that can tell everything from who they've eaten for breakfast to whether or not they should meet the true death. With the use of an app, they can become goo if the council sees fit. Side note: I thoroughly enjoyed the girl who harnessed them in and explained the rules. It was like she was the employee explaining to two little boys how to behave while playing laser tag at one of those party places. Also, the council has replaced Nan with Reverend Steve Newlin (Michael McMillian)! They're hoping to tap into a new demographic with him on board, and they need someone to smooth talk if Russell rears his hungry head. They made good usage of overhead lighting here, making it seem as though he had an actual halo. Roman recognizes that humans are the ancestors of vampires, not just meat. The vampire bible can't win, but will indeed start, a civil war.

At Fangtasia, Pam's speakers are blaring "Bood for Poppies" by Garbage, while Pam (Kristen Bauer van Straten) texts very quickly, even more quickly than a high school queen bee! Sookie storms in looking for more favors, and Pam isn't having it. She alerts Sookie that Eric is missing, as is Bill, and that it probably has something to do with her. Sookie assures her she's mistaken, and wants her help reigning in Tara. Pam kicks her out, but not before a little tiff takes place between the two. Sookie really has a handle on that glow attack this season, huh?

Lafayette is worried Tara is going to spill the beans about them killing Debbie Pelt, but Sookie is more concerned with Tara finding somewhere to sleep before dawn. Never fear, Sam Merlotte (Sam Trammell) is here! Tara runs to Sam looking for True Blood, and boy does she drink some True Blood, lots of it! Sam manages to find somewhere safe for Tara to sleep, the meat freezer, and promises to keep her secret safe. He won't tell Lafayette or Sookie that he's helping her. That lasts for a few hours, until Lafayette and Sookie show up in a huff. Sookie manages to pry into Sam's thoughts, and somewhere between thoughts about her boobs, she gets a tip. He confesses, and admits he doesn't blame Sookie for helping Tara have another shot at life. He sort of wishes he done so with Tommy. I kind of miss Tommy special brand of debauchery, actually! R.I.P. Tommy Mickens!

Arlene (Carrie Preston) and Terry (Todd Lowe) are still at odds over Terry's recent jolt of jackass behavior. She's frustrated that he's keeping war secrets, and she knows something bad is brewing. He refuses to give in, but says goodbye before he leaves on his secret mission with Patrick. She won't be waiting when he comes back! Just give her a little something, Terry. It's been five seasons of this supernatural drama, she can handle a little something!

At the police station, Debbie's parents show up looking for answers. Also, Andy (Chris Bauer) discovers that Holly's (Lauren Bowles) sons posted the naked pic of him they took while he was asleep on Facebook! Isn't it sort of strange they posted that pic of the sheriff knowing their mom was sleeping naked right next to him? Later, Andy confronts her, but he doesn't seem too mad. He uses it as an ice breaker to ask her to "go steady." It's only a matter of time now before that weird fairy sex he had last season comes back to bite him in the ass, right? I hope Holly doesn't bite the bullet because of whatever deal he struck.

Debbie's parents don't just stop at the station, they also make a trip to see Alcide (Joe Manganiello) at work. Alcide tries to convince them that he's clueless, and that Debbie is back on V. She's probably just getting high somewhere with a guy. Nope, her mom has her wallet and phone. She knows something is wrong. Later, we see Andy questioning Sookie at work, and Lafayette watching in a panic. Sookie handles it pretty will on the surface, but looks shaken up behind the scenes. She reminds Lafayette to keep being his "fabulous self!" Yeah, I've missed that side of him immensely this season!

Pam gets another flashback this episode! This time, it's via a dream sequence. We see the progression of her relationship with Eric. He comes looking for her at her brothel. Pam, knowing something has been up with her girls ending up mutilated in bed, alerts Eric. Eric meets Bill in bed with his maker Loreena (Mariana Klaveno)! Bill is a baby vampire, and he's been the one killing Pam's girls. Eric is a member of the authority, though! He lets Bill off with a warning because he's a baby with promise. Pam asks for $500 per body she had to clean up. She wants more from Eric, though.

Meanwhile, Jason (Ryan Kwanten) bumped into an old teacher at the grocery store. Apparently, fifteen years ago they had a fling while he was in high school. Now, she's back in town and claims to feel very sorry for taking advantage of him. Back at her crazy cat lady house, Jason moves very quickly from waving "hello" to her cat to laying on the moves. She doesn't initially want to, but she gives in. When they wake up, the roles have reversed. Jason realizes that it was wrong that they slept together when he was just a teenager, and she wants to share half a box of wine. Get out of there, Jason!

Bill and Eric both have more intimate encounters with Salome this episode. She's more complex than was initially insinuated. She's the Salome that is referenced in human bibles, but she makes it clear that she was misrepresented. The human bible is just like "US Weekly." She's appreciates Bill's heart, and sleeps with him. She appreciate's Eric's self-respect, and sleeps with him. Apparently, she is trying to convince Roman that he alienated too many people in denouncing the vampire bible as archaic, and she thinks Eric and Bill can help. She knows they aren't of these "Sanguanistas," or those who are fundamentalists against integration. Nora (Lucy Griffiths) did confess, though, we don't know if she was just desperate to end the silver torture she was under. That is probably the case. Salome is upset because she mentored Nora, and she even knew of her kinship with Eric. Roman is still determined to mainstream. In other news, that scary, conservative, red head on the council is a real trip!

We get another glimpse of Pam and Eric back in 1905. Pam wants to be a vampire. She's not looking forward to her life as a pariah when she reaches old age. Apparently, no one appreciates the head of a whorehouse when she reaches her senior years. Eric initially refuses due to the amount of responsibility.

Eric: "Would you toss a newborn baby in the gutter?"

Pam: "An honorable vampire, isn't that a contradiction?"

Eric: "No more than an intelligent whore, yet here we are."

Pam thinks fast, and cuts her wrists. She gives Eric the choice of watching her die, or turning her. He gives in, thankfully. What would Bon Temps 2012 be like without Pam?

Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) is trying on dresses at a boutique. Bummer, no Jessica house party this week. We do get a nice little moment when Jessica defends Jason's reputation against the owner, though. She really does care about him. Before she leaves, she catches a whiff off of a strange boy who walks in picking up an order. He bolts before she can ask him what he is. Another supernatural being, or just fantastic cologne? She tried chasing him, but ended up just basking in his smell for a while. Afterwards, she runs to Jason in an attempt to bang him. A guy does not want to hear that you've showed up to sleep with him because the last guy ran away before you could catch him. Jason realizes this episode that he's filling a hole in his heart with sex, and he has been since he learned to do it as a kid. Jessica is a good friend, and offers to stay and talk with him. She even offers to put on sweats! This could put a cork in their romance for now.

At Fangtasia, Hoyt (Jim Parrack) shows up looking like he's about to star in an embarrassingly bad porno.

Pam: "The eyeliner, the desperation. They’ll eat you alive in here."

Arlene, get out of the freezer! She doesn't know Tara is in there, but it's too late! Tara bolts awake and eats Arlene.  Thankfully, it was only a dream. It was actually Lafayette who woke her up with a True Blood. She claws him, and stirs up enough of a commotion that the crew comes piling into the kitchen. Now, Arlene and Alcide no about Tara begin a vampire, and Alcide knows something else is up with Sookie, too, especially after Tara alludes to her having a secret.

In the aftermath, Arlene shames Lafayette for turning Tara, and he snaps at her. He then pours bleach into the gumbo he's cooking. It's the ancient magical demon inside him again! He dumps the gumbo, obviously. Outside, Sookie confesses to killing Debbie. Alcide is furious that she lied to him, but seemingly not as furious that Debbie is dead. He feels he's done nothing but help Sookie, and she betrayed him.

In the final scenes, Eric and Bill share their Salome sex tales in an elevator, only to arrive on their floor to a firing squad of sorts. Tara breaks into a tanning salon called "Curl Up and Fry," and hops into a tanning bed to commit suicide. Pam can feel this all going down, and while very annoyed, she rushes to stop Tara. I found Pam's lack of enthusiasm fitting. Tara really couldn't wait a few hours for the sun to rise? A tanning bed is such a lame way to go.

What did you think of the episode? What will develop between Tara and Pam? Do like Jason and Jessica better as friends or lovers? Can Sookie get away with murdering Debbie? Is there any hope of the Terry/ Arlene storyline tying into the rest of this plot? What kind of cologne was that guy Jessica sniffed wearing?