The X Factor - Recap - Live Blog - 09/13/2012

The first day of Britney Spears as the newest judge on The X Factor got some decent reviews, although the ratings left a lot to be desired. Let's see if day two of the Season 2 Premiere can find its way out of the sophomore slump.

CREDIT: FOX

JOHNNY MAXWELL, 16, IS UP FIRST

-The audience already loves him. He's singing an original song.

-Totally pulling a Chris Rene right now: doing that cross between singing and rapping (although the singing is really rough right now), with an original song that sounds like it could be a hit. LA Reid is already singing along, for crying out loud.

-HA! Britney with the polite "golf clap."

-Simon says he's a better rapper than a singer, but that he has that "steel" in his eyes. All four judges say "yes." His family rushes the stage to celebrate as Johnny lets out the waterworks. Johnny Maxwell advances to boot camp.

CREDIT: FOX

-After the break, a minor rivalry develops between contestants Paige Stroughbough and Lexa Berman, one a singer, the other a singer/dancer/golddigger. This should be interesting.

LEXA BERMAN IS UP NEXT

-And LA cuts right to the chase, asking if she's single. Can't fault him for being forward. Simon calls her a cross between Jersey Shore and the Kardashians.

-She sings "Too Close" by Alex Clare, and Paige watches from backstage, amused. It's really not that bad, but her overconfident personality turns off the crowd. Demi and Britney don't like her, although Simon says yes. But you need three of those to advance.

CREDIT: FOX

-Up next, Demi is smitten by Dylan Osbourn, who can't really sing all that well: cue montage of really good-looking people who can't sing to save their lives. And some of these people are really, truly, IRRESPONSIBLY good-looking. But they all hear "No" just the same.

-Back from the break with more heartbreak, as contestants are hearing "No," and the judges are getting more frustrated at the seeming lack of talent (maybe they all went to audition for The Voice instead?).

JASON BROCK, 34, IS UP NEXT

-Jason Brock (great name) is in tech support, but he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life doing that. A fellow contestant compares him to Elton John (I don't see it, other than the whole "being gay" part), but the crowd already seems to like him. How much of that is mocking praise and how much is genuine remains to be seen.

-His description of how his show would be onstage if he made it in the industry sounds an awful lot like Lady Gaga. Or Cirque du Soleil.

-He sings Billy Joel's "New York State of Mind," and is...kind of great, actually. The judges look as surprised as I am right now.

-The judges love him. It's Yes x4. "Chunky Glambert" (thanks, ArchieSue!) reigns supreme. Jason Brock advances to boot camp.

CREDIT: FOX

-Halfway through the show, and no good groups. If you can't tell, Groups is my favorite X Factor category, even though the US X Factor seems to be at a complete lack of any truly great ones, if last year is any evidence (sorry, Stereo Hoggz were too New Edition for me, but I blame that more on having Paula as a mentor, same way LA spent an entire season trying to turn Marcus Canty into Bobby Brown against all common sense).

PATRICK FORD, 20, IS UP NEXT

-Patrick not only believes Britney Spears is God, he also seems to think that he looks like her too, going so far as to posture that she might be his sister. His hope is to have a hot girlfriend named Britney Spears (pretty sure there are incest laws in RI, brah).

-He comes out with a bouquet for Britney, who looks immediately terrified. Doubly so when he announces he's going to be singing her own "Circus."

-I've heard the plaintive cries of farm animals that were more aesthetically pleasing than this.

-A future line for the Simon Hall of Fame: "It sounded like you got drunk, had an argument with Britney, and decided to scream the song back at her."

-Patrick starts to argue, asking if that's all Britney has for him. He asks if he can bring Britney her flowers, and Britney looks mortified. Simon offers to take the flowers to Britney, in a rare moment of biting the bullet for a fellow judge.

-LA tells Patrick it's a No from all of the judges, and Patrick can only leave while telling the camera how hurt he is that all Britney could say was "No." But he still loves her anyway.

CREDIT: FOX

-Also: creepy, Friday the 13th, serial murderer-at-large music played over nearly this entire segment, further proving that there are few music cues more terrifying than the tinkly-sound of a music box.

-I don't watch Bones, but I have to go on record (due to all these commercials for the show), that Emily is the superior Deschanel sister. I said it. I'm not taking it back.

CARLY ROSE SONENCLAR, 13, IS UP NEXT

-Adorable girl, but the minute I saw the name I thought, if Simon ends up with her in his group, he's going to make her drop that last name quicker than you can say "Ryniewicz."

-She announces she's going to be singing "Feeling Good" by Nina Simone, and LA asks if she's picked that song herself. She assures him that she has, and affirms that she's rehearsed it.

-Carly Rose starts singing and puts the judges' fears to rest. Seriously. Best audition of the night so far (and with ten minutes left, I doubt it's going to be topped).

-Standing ovation from the audience and the judges (with Simon having that look of "PLEASE let this girl be in my category" on his face).

-Britney calls her a "little diva," LA says she's an "old soul," and Simon can't believe it was actually her singing, jokingly arguing that there must be someone offstage singing for her. Carly promises it was all her (seriously, she's like a not-at-all annoying Rachel Crowe). Simon tells her a star has just been born on that stage. Demi wants to buy her music right now.

-As if there could be any doubt, all four judges say "Yes". Carly Rose Sonenclar advances to boot camp.

CREDIT: FOX

PREVIEW FOR NEXT WEEK: Some auditions that sound pretty awesome, Britney reminding people she can actually sing when wishing LA Reid a Happy Birthday, the unfortunate return of Sob Story City, some explosive drama between contestants, and groups. Actual groups! I'm so there.

But that's it for tonight. Thanks for joining me! The comments section has been awesome, with a lot of wit and insight. Seriously, I love reading your opinions on the contestants.

Also, don't forget to keep it here at Rickey.org for your X Factor fix, with videos, mp3s, previews, recaps, and more! And if you missed last night, we've got videos/mp3s. It was a pretty interesting night overall (though tonight was easily the best of the two nights, probably because shorter timespan = less filler and sob stories). Can't wait for next week, to see the shape this season of The X Factor will start to take after we see more of the acts getting through. Good night, guys!