The Bipolar Blogger Blogs

And now for another personal post...

So it's a little bit of a struggle trying to get a new theme up for the blog. It's been like years that I wanted to change the look of this darned thing, but I've never been able to muster up the willpower to do it. Again, inertia just takes over. Or laziness.

Over the past few weeks however, I've been able to work on a theme using one of the pre-set themes available for the program that I use running this blog. Things were going well for a while -- it felt like I was finally doing some progress, and then I hit a snag a few days ago. I really hated what I came up with -- and I just didn't want to look at it anymore.

I also thought that maybe I became depressed -- I didn't understand what's going on. I explained to my therapist that I had been waking up early working on the theme then blogging during day -- finally finding a routine after all these months. But then I felt that my life became this monotonous thing where I wake up to work on something, eat, sleep, do it again the next day. It just felt so meaningless. Is this it? That I live to blog? It didn't make sense. My life sucks!

Therapist offered some words of wisdom: "This is what people go through everyday, R. They wake up, go to work, go home, then do it all over again. You're not any different."

R.: "Oh."

So I finally become "productive" and get depressed about it because it felt too much like real work. Just goes to show that someone hasn't really been "working" for a couple of years!

Good thing I went to the therapist. Wouldn't have realized that on my own.

It has taken me a while to get back to some sort of routine again (chronic sleep cycle issues). But over the past few hours, I felt inspired again to work on the theme, and I am determined to make it work this go around. I have to. The Internet world has changed and competition is tougher than ever. We must survive... again.

There has been a lot of activity on the blog now because of American Idol and this has energized me a bit. But at the same time, I've looked at the non-Idol posts I've made and I see that people are reading those as well so it's good to see that many of you enjoy my eclectic tastes.

OK, time to work. Go Team R!