The Bachelorette Season 8 – Week 7 – Recap

We’re winding down on Season 8 of The Bachelorette, folks. Six guys are left, and next week brings the ever-enjoyable hometown dates. Here’s my recap of Week 7, during which Emily and the guys chillax in Prague. There are three one-on-one dates and one group date this week, though a rose will only be up for grabs on the group date.

Arie’s One-on-One

“Let’s Czech out Prague together,” the producers Emily writes on her date card to Arie. Oh, Date Card Puns, how I missed you so. All three one-on-one date activities in this episode are very similar, with Emily and Guy X walking hand-in-hand along the streets of Prague, exploring various shops. Hmm, when I have I watched that date before? Oh, pretty much Every. Single. One-on-One. this season! Luckily, the-powers-that-be know how to drum up drama to make the date activities themselves less necessary to entertain viewers.

The producers choose to exploit the former relationship between Arie and producer Cassie Lambert, despite it being short-lived and nearly a decade ago. While Emily’s talking to the camera partway through her date with Arie, Cassie decides to bring up the relationship she and Arie once had and tries to assure Emily that it was no big deal. Emily understandably feels like an idiot for being the only one who didn’t know and wishes someone brought it up earlier to her.

Arie finally mentions it to Emily after she nudges him about keeping secrets and says that he felt the relationship was so brief and so long ago that it didn’t matter. Makes sense. Emily is reassured and doesn’t care anymore. Moving on!

The most dramatic part of their date comes as they eat dinner alongside a river at night. Arie’s feeling confident and tells her, “I think I realized that… I love you. I always thought after our first date that I was falling in love with you, but I finally realized it in Croatia.” Emily has a huge smile on her face and replies, “That makes me really, really happy.” They kiss, and fireworks burst in the background. No, really, they actually do. Nice timing.

John’s One-on-One

John and Emily visit the John Lennon Wall, and Emily attempts to explain its history to the viewers. “During communism…” she begins… and unfortunately my laughter drowned out the remaining words in the sentence. Didn’t realize communism was a time period. Oh, Emily, you beautiful naïve sophisticated newborn baby. #parksandrec #knope2012

After painting a portion of the wall, they visit a gate with a bunch of colorful locks on it. The story behind it is quite romantic: couples visit the gate and fasten their lock to the gate as a symbol of everlasting attachment. Fittingly, John struggles to close his and Emily’s lock, symbolizing their not-exactly-successful relationship so far this season.

By the end of the date, John admits for the first time that he’s falling in love with Emily. “It’s happening,” he confesses. Unfortunately, Sean steals his thunder by sneaking out to see Emily after she drops John off at the hotel. Like a scene ripped straight from a chick flick, Sean runs around the streets of Prague, yelling her name to try to find her. I sense some producer tinkering, since there’s no way Emily wasn’t driven back to her hotel in the most expensive vehicle available. Why was she on the streets? Thanks for helping bring them together, producers!

Anyways, Emily loves that Sean surprised her, and they make out on the streets. “I could see myself marrying this girl,” he said.

Group Date (Sean, Doug, Chris)

Chris is outraged that he didn’t get a one-on-one date this week, because his only one-on-one was all the way back in Charlotte. Awwww, pauvre Chris… not really. The four of them ride a horse-drawn carriage to a castle. Emily pulls Doug away to chat with him, and they sit awkwardly in a dark corner of the castle. He apologizes (!) for accidentally (!!) touching her (!!!). Emily is less than pleased by his closed-off body language and pretty much begs him to put his arm around her and kiss her. Or do anything.

She brings him back outside and starts telling him about everything that’s wrong about their relationship, and he chooses this moment to kiss her. Too little, too late. She sends him home packing, and he’s shocked. “I feel really stupid for just giving you a kiss,” he says. “I think my girl radar is just totally broken.” Duh-DOY!

Now Sean and Chris are left on the ever-popular two-on-one date. Chris tells Emily that he’s upset with her for not giving him a one-on-one, and she tries to console him… but ends up giving the date rose to Sean. He’s pissed and he ain’t afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it – he’s livid and SHE knows it!

Jef’s One-on-One

When Jef popped up on screen, my little brother turned to me and said, “Melissa, that person reminds me of Niall. And JFK.”

My reaction: Uhhhhhhmmmmm… *ding* WAIT YOU’RE TOTALLY RIGHT!

Come on. You have to admit that there’s a resemblance.

Anyway, Emily and Jef visit a marionette shop, and Jef get a male puppet while Emily gets a female one. In an extra-adorable move, Jef runs back to the store and buys a little blond girl puppet. “We couldn’t leave Ricki hanging!” he says. I awwwww’d audibly.

They use the marionettes to act out their relationship, and the scene is really endearing. “I really like your nail polish,” Jef’s puppet tells Emily’s. He says that the puppets are making it easier for him to express his feelings. “This whole thing has blown my wildest dreams out of the water… I am one million percent in love with you, and I can’t even imagine what I would do without you in my life. And we should get a dog together.”

“I was thinking the same thing!” Emily’s puppet says. “Except that we should get a cat.” So cute.

They enter a library and cuddle on the floor, talking about their potential future life together. They’re having a legitimate heart-to-heart. I think we have a frontrunner, ladies and gents!

Cocktail Party/Rose Ceremony

JK, there is none. (Oh, Emily, you beautiful spinster, I will find you love!) She said that since she had her mind made up already, she doesn’t want to put the guys through a cocktail party. John isn’t nervous at all, but Chris on the other hand is FLIPPING OUT. He’s convinced that he’s going home and is crying about unsaid thoughts and feelings. He really cares about this gal.

Jef and Arie receive roses, and right when Emily is about to call the last person’s name, Chris interrupts and asks to talk with her. “Sure!” she says. John displays a decent poker face and lets Chris take her away, though if I were in his shoes, I’d yell “HEY NOW WHERE U GOIN’, FOO?!” at him. Chris apologizes to Emily for being so visibly upset at not getting more one-on-one time with her as well as not receiving the group date rose. “I’m ready to be the man that you deserve, and I’d be lying if I said that I’m not falling in love with you,” he says. She walks him back…

…and gives Chris the final rose! John’s probably pissed. On his way out, she tells John that she didn’t think her relationship with him was moving at a fast enough pace. He didn’t see it coming.

So here you have it; Emily will be visiting the families of Sean, Jef, Arie, and Chris in next week’s hometown dates episode. Did you think Chris still would have gotten the final rose had he not interrupted Emily? Do you agree that Jef looks like a combination of One Direction’s Niall Horan and John F. Kennedy? Let me know in comments.