The Bachelorette Desiree - Episode 5 - Recap

By the end of Episode 5 of The Bachelorette, which took place in Munich, Germany, Desiree's eleven guys are down to eight. One elimination is courtesy of a two-on-one date. Those are always entertaining!  Read my recap below.

Chris' One-on-One

Chris and Des explore Munich with their touristy map and touristy guidebook. Like I've mentioned many times before, Chris is my fave. He's just awesome.

Chris and Des take a selfie in Munich

However, over the course of the date, an external force threatens to throw a wrench into the date. And that force is Bryden. Ever since last episode, Bryden admitted that he's not feeling the feelings for Des that he wants to by this point. He decides to tell her that he wants to leave. "Are you going to wait until after the one-on-one?" James asks innocently. Nope, he's going to interrupt Chris' one-on-one date to tell her! You've got to be kidding me. Bryden walks in on Des and Chris merrily linking arms and dancing around a square and asks Chris if he can steal Des away for a little while.

Awful timing, Bryden.

He tells her that he's leaving, and Des takes it pretty well in the moment. She does tear up in her video confessional as she reveals that it hurts a little bit that Bryden left, since it makes her question if any of the other guys that she really likes will pack up and leave as well. But she's glad Chris is on this date with her to keep her mind off of it.

Aww Des! Don't cry!

That night, Chris and Des dine in a fancy castle like royalty! He ready to start a family and build a new life. Des tears up again, this time when she talks about her ex, who couldn't say 'I love you' first, couldn't compliment her, couldn't express his feelings. Then, Chris says he wrote something for her on the plane. It's another poem! My goodness, he's amazing. She tears up yet again.

Chris gets a rose. Obviously …and he gets a private concert by Matt White! That's his second private concert of the season. "I am slowly but certainly falling in love with Des," he admits. "And I think it's mutual. She doesn't have to say it. She can say it through kisses, she can say it through her eyes; I know it's happening. I know it's real, and this is happening." AWW.

Group Date: Juan Pablo, James, Kasey, Zak, Brooks, Drew, Mikey

They play in the snow at Germany's highest peak. Des describes the scene as "majestic" -- one of my favorite adjectives! Love it. All of a sudden, the guys hear some yodeling as they ponder life , so they do what anyone would do in that situation: follow the yodels! Later, they sled down what seems like a black diamond. Of course, everyone wipes out, and it's great. "Love is like sledding down a hill," Zak says. How wise. The sledding is followed by some healthy snowball throwing and snow angel making.

Then, they head over to a GIANT ICE CASTLE! IT LOOKS AWESOME! Mikey and Des make mini snowmen and talk about Mikey's huge family. While they're in the middle of a nice conversation, Zak sneaks up behind them and yodels his heart out. The "singing jackass," as Mikey refers to him as, tells Des that he used to want to be a priest, and a soul-searching mission throughout Europe was what made him realize he didn't want to be a priest. He compares that mission to his current mission to find love.

Now, it seems like there's another guy who's rubbing the guys the wrong way. It's James! He's short and vulgar with the guys but is sweet with the guys, Brooks says. Regardless… Brooks gets the group date rose! He's  happily shocked.

Brooks and Des, sitting in an ice castle... k-i-s-s-i-n-g

James can't believe Brooks got the rose, especially considering how he and Brooks are polar opposites of each other.

Michael and Ben's Two-on-One Date

"Maybe Des chose me for this date because she trusts me to expose Ben for the fraud that he is," Michael very assertively tells the camera. "I'm ready to send this ______ home." Hmm, what about actual romantic feelings, Michael? You're not going to talk about how excited you are to get more time with Des? You're just going to work towards bringing another guy down? Maybe you're not the one here #fortherightreasons…

They then ride on a hot tug! NOT the do Polar Bear Plunge, like Des originally joked. The hot tug… that's innovation right there. It's a hot tub in a boat! So cool. Well, hot, technically. (Okay I'll stop now.)

Meanwhile, Michael continues to throw Ben under the bus boat hot tug. Michael talks about how Ben never mentions his son anymore and how his own dad was an absentee father… etc.

At dinner, Michael brings out the verbal knives and absolutely hurls them at Ben. When Ben says he wants to bring his family to church every Sunday, Michael accuses Ben of not going to church on Easter and not even talking to his son on Easter. What a bully! Ughhhhh at both of them. Des should just let both of them go, they both suck.

According to Des, it says something about Ben that he's the outcast in this "amazing group of guys." She ends up giving the rose to Michael. UGHHH. WHY NOT GET RID OF BOTH OF THEM. He leaves and declines Des' offers to walk him out. The guys cheer when they see Ben's luggage taken away. Ben, however, doesn't seem terribly upset. "How long do I have to wait before I get to be seen in public with someone?" Ben chuckles in the limo. "Hello Hollywood!" And… there are his true colors. Sigh.

Obviously the producers wanted to pair Ben up with one of the guys who hates him. Since James already got a one-on-one last week, I guess Michael was next in line! Des probably went in thinking that she would keep Ben; they've had a seemingly great relationship developing, and Michael and Des have pretty much had zero chemistry. Michael continues to have zero chemistry with her, so he's not long for this competition, anyway.

That night in the hotel, Drew brings Chris, Kasey, and Brooks together for a chat. He talks about how James said that he's fine that he might lose his job after being on The Bachelorette for so long because he's going to become famous. He'll be able to introduce Mikey to a bunch of beautiful women and they'll have "intimate settings" (Drew's words, I'm guessing not James'… lol) on a boat in the water. If he plays his cards right and ends up in the Final 4, he'll be right in line to be the next Bachelor.

Obligatory Chris pic. He looks concerned so often!

Interview with Chris Harrison

Des and host Chris Harrison sit down for a chat before the cocktail party.  Chris brings up the fact that she's kissed a lot of the guys and asks which guy she likes kissing the most. She reveals that she would want to kiss Brooks because she has a deep relationship with him, and then she says that physically, Zak is a great kisser. Well, then! She then cancels the cocktail party because she's confident in her decision. But uh oh! The guys have been anxious to talk to her; Kasey and Drew have wanted to tell Des about what James said. Oooh.

Rose Ceremony

Mikey is sent home; Bryden previously withdrew, and Ben was eliminated during the two-on-one. That means the remaining contestants are Chris, Brooks, Michael, Zak, Kasey, Juan Pablo, Drew, and James.

Next week, they're going to Barcelona! It seems like the whole James situation blows up next episode.

Well, what did you all think? Were you surprised that Ben, and not Michael (or both) was sent home on the two-on-one? When will James' true intentions show through to Des? Let me know in comments!