Teen Wolf - Recap: Werewolf Thunderdome

At this point, Stiles, "almost" can be considered a victory, I think. Meanwhile, my prayers were answered during episode 2 as Ian Bohen made his grand return as Peter Hale. Isaac (Daniel Sharman) joined the extreme polar bear plunge arctic wolf flea bath club. Werewolf Thunderdome would commence by the close of episode 2, "Chaos Rising." Who lives? Who dies? Who screams? (Kidding, this show loves to make Hollan Roden scream until she's blue in her pretty little face.) We haven't yet received a single postcard from Jackson as he gallivants Europe.

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The episode opened with Scott (Tyler Posey) and Stiles heading to a birthday party thrown by one of the latter’s nursery school female friends. While the two meandered there way into the girl’s house, we met Heather, Stiles' pre-k pal, but who cares about that? Heather, who is your friend and why didn’t she get more screen time? Heather said a polite “hello” before diving straight down Stiles’ throat. Scott giggled as the girl pulled him down to her basement. I mean, her actually basement. As in, the cellar of her home. Unfortunately for Scott, the girl’s friend gave a quick leer of shade and death that got our Teen Wolf wondering… does he have bad breath?

Things heated up between Stiles and his lady-friend like wildfire, obviously. Unfortunately, the girl had forgotten to nab a condom from her brother’s stash. Stiles thumped up the stairs as quickly as possible because, of course, he has to know at this point that lucky opportunities, especially moments where his lips get to touch a female human being, are usually on a set timer. Ooh, he’d have to settle for an XL sized condom. Who knows? Maybe that’s what he was searching for! Maybe Stiles hit a stroke of luck! Well, luck over. Down in the wine cellar…. Actually, scratch that. Down in the wine fortress, Heather became a victim of another bit of supernatural hoopla. The wine bottles flew from the shelves like super expensive bullets before the girl was sucked up through a tiny window. Yikes, bon voyage, Heather? I’m not going to lie and pretend that all of that yummy alcohol spilled doesn’t make me feel like pulling my hair out. Stiles made his way back downstairs, only to find the place a total wreck. Party? If you ask me, seeing an entire row of wine bottles shattered to pieces probably screams “red flag,” but no one’s asking me.

Meanwhile, Lydia (Holland Roden) and Allison (Crystal Reed) made there way to the party in search of Scott. Bruise-gate continued this episode. Maybe the mystery woman just had perfectly symmetrical grips? Maybe the shady lady just wanted to lay the template for a pretty gnarly friendship tattoo? Maybe it was yet another omen of looming doom connected to the recent influx of hateful alphas in the area? Yeah, I’m going to go ahead and select choice number two. Scott, on the other hand, was concerned. I've *gasp* hit twenty-five.

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Let me introduce you to someone who has absolutely no concern for Beacon Hills’ own Ginger and Mary Ann. (That was a Gilligan’s Island reference for those of you who are age impaired, or, well, just teens.) Derek Hale (Tyler Hoechlin) had no time to waste on the likes of the girl who riddled him with arrows or the girl who used him to resurrect his arch nemesis. Derek, forgive and forget, as Stiles would go on to say. Derek, on the other hand, was very busy dealing with his missing pack members, Erica and Boyd (Sinqua Walls). Isaac had been having trouble recalling what he’d witnessed in his search for the pair of fellow wolves. Hey, Derek, why don’t you try a "lost dog" flyer? Derek, in his desperation, called in the big guns. Enter Peter Hale. Enter my personal start to Season 2. Peter had practiced some sort of alpha werewolf mumbo jumbo that involved sticking his claw into Isaac’s back. Werewolf spinal taps sure do look fun… In any case, congratulations to Isaac for not suffering from paralysis or sudden death. Peter, though, came up a bit short. Isaac did indeed discover where the pair was being held captive, but the images were nothing more than vague shadows to Peter.

MTV "Teen Wolf"

MTV "Teen Wolf"

Scott McCall continued his honor student streak this week by revealing to know, at the very least, some semblance of what the stock market is actually about. Weighing risk and reward is important, of course, as witnessed by Scott’s refusal to participate in Coach Finstock’s (Orny Adams) kooky coin tossing parlor game for fear of having to write an extra essay should he fail to flick a quarter into a cup. More importantly, the old Scott would have used his wolf abilities to nail the test. Even more importantly, when are Orny Adams and Ian Bohen getting some much needed shared screen time? Make it happen, Teen Wolf! Stiles was up for the challenge; however, Sheriff Stilinski (Linden Ashby) interrupted the class to question his son regarding Heather’s disappearance.

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In a last ditch effort, Derek made a call to Dr. Deaton (Seth Gilliam), who, in his infinite knowledge of supernatural shenanigans, somehow learned of a technique to virtually hypnotize a werewolf using the shocking effects of a freezing cold ice water bath. Isaac manned-up wolfed-up to the occasion, diving into the metal tub without much hesitation. So what if his heart slows to the point of being within a few icy degrees of death? If it meant entering this allusive trance state, he’d take the risk. What can I say? It worked like a charm. Isaac struggled through the uncomfortable procedure, revealing that the two were being held in an abandoned town bank. Unfortunately, he also claimed to have seen Erica’s corpse. Ouch! It must totally blow to leave a show without so much as a “goodbye” sendoff of sorts. Maybe she can join Colton Haynes in imaginary London aka Arrow! Or maybe she’s not actually dead, and this is all some big misunderstanding.

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After a night of fruitless searching for information surrounding the abandoned bank, specifically how to crack the vault, Stiles found an unlikely helpful source in his father, who’d handled the arrest of a man who’d robbed the bank prior to its closing. With a detailed layout of the bank robber’s plan, Stiles discovered that a team of crooks drilled through the stone wall and funneled money out through the roof.

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Thankfully, for our sake, Derek Hale has mega-wolf powers and the ability to shatter through marble like a karate plank in moments. Just ask Stiles’ poor right hand! Peter warned Derek of the massive opportunity to botch springing his pack, considering that he was severely under-wolfed at the moment. Peter, of course, was far too weak to help out. Call him around episode 6, Derek. It’s more fun for us anyway if Peter is merely around to poke fun and be incredible. For example, my favorite moment this week was probably the simple banter between Peter and Stiles as Scott and Derek headed for the bank.

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Scott’s instincts knew something was off from the get-go. Why had the alpha team waited several full moons to spring their scheme? Isaac had revealed prior that this upcoming full moon was of the utmost importance to their leader, Deucalion, and Scott, of course, had been brushing up on his economics lingo. Was the risk worth the reward? To Derek, it was as simple as putting his own life on the line for his pack. Scott, needless to say, quashed his gut instinct to help his friends. That’s the thing about our Scott McCall. It doesn’t matter how great of an academic he becomes. His heart will always outweigh his brain, and his friends aren’t the equivalent of winning an exemption from a pop quiz. The two broke into the vault effortlessly to find Boyd standing in the shadows, snarling. Another lurking figured revealed herself to be Cora, Derek’s long lost sister whom he’d thought dead. Meanwhile, Stiles managed to stir a thought in Peter’s super-brain. The two did some research and discovered that the stone-type the bank was built with contained some sort of special mineral… a mineral that deflected moonlight. Boyd and Cora had been cooped up for months without the opportunity to “change.” Scott and Derek had walked into a “werewolf thunderdome,” unbeknownst to them. Once Stiles quickly clued Scott in via phone chat, it was too late. The battle had begun, and the room was sealed with an enchanted powder that prevented them from escaping.

But who organized the enchantment? We last saw this spell used to trap Jackson, the kanima, inside of a rave. Dr. Deacon taught it to Stiles. Deacon’s protégé, school guidance counselor Ms. Morell (Bianca Lawson), is playing for the other team, folks. Side Note: Bianca Lawson played Mya on Pretty Little Liars. Mya was a seventeen-year-old high school student, I believe. This woman is ageless! Maybe she’s actually a witch.

Scott and Derek looked like they were in trouble, as a super-powered Boyd and Cora began to tear them apart. Then, the two were killed. No, of course not. They had an unlikely ally waiting in the wings. Allison Argent had decided to make a bold move in an attempt to convince Derek that she’d learned from her mistakes. She’d broken into the bank earlier, having discovered that the bank's logo matched the symbol imprinted on the arms of herself and Lydia. Under Ms. Morell’s instruction, Allison hid in a custodial closet, cleverly cloaking her smell with purposely-spilled ammonia; however, the girl couldn’t help herself. After spying what I'm assuming was Erica's body in the corner of the room, she bolted. Knowing that Scott would most likely be involved, Allison ran from her safe quarters, broke the seal on the vault, and shooed Boyd and Cora away. Who cares if they eat the entire town? We need Scott McCall alive for this to be Teen Wolf. Although, I’d kind of be happy with a non-supernatural themed Stiles spinoff. Actually, why not let Teen Wolf run its course, then follow it up with a comedic Stiles spinoff show that can act as a companion series to MTV’s Awkward.? Stiles and Jenna Hamilton… think about it.

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Derek was strangely peeved that Allison had rescued him from the insane wolves. He scolded her for unleashing the two on the town, but let’s be clear here, I’m positive that Derek simply loathed being Allison’s damsel in distress. In the end, Allison’s bold move was rewarded with nothing more than Derek pressuring Scott on the spot to spill the truth regarding Allison’s mother, and how the woman took a bite from Derek in her attempt to murder Scott. Seriously, Derek, that was a move straight out of the Mean Girls’ playbook. Next time, why don’t you just force Scott to call Allison while you’re secretly listening in on a three-way call?

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The episode closed with a surprising flash to Lydia, who’d fallen asleep fully clothed, only to wake up due to one of her psychotic episodes. Holland Roden… That scream session must have taken practice.

What did you think of Teen Wolf, Season 3 Episode 2, “Chaos Rising”? Did you think Lydia’s episodes were over now that Peter Hale is alive and well? Will Stiles ever get laid? Has Allison redeemed herself in your eyes? Is Erika a goner?

Thanks for reading my Recap and Review of Teen Wolf, Season 3 Episode 2, “Chaos Rising”!