The Real Housewives of New Jersey - Photo Recap: 800… Pounds… of Sausages
The episode opened with Caroline and Jacqueline visiting Kathy’s industrial kitchen. My favorite part was, of course, how Caroline acted as though she were waltzing into Freddy Krueger’s dream house, and Jacqueline pretended to be on one of those ghost hunting reality shows.
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"I see a door."
Meanwhile, the scariest thing in Kathy’s kitchen is calories, but they can always crash Teresa’s personal gym party.
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Speaking of Tre, Nonno came for a visit to make 800… pounds… of sausages. According to Teresa, that’s keeping old-school Italian traditions alive.
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As the Fabulicious family linked away, Joe Gorga taught Richie how to swing a golf club before getting a call from his estranged sis. Nonno, the inspiration, had seemingly given her the strength to pick up the phone to talk to her brother about stuff like “meditation” and “falling down.”
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So here is the central drama of Episode 6. Melissa has this “friend,” Jan, with whom she was happy to share the news of her book deal.
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Sadly, Melissa seems to need to hire someone to sell this book for her because her sales pitch, even to her close girlfriends, was awful.
Still, nothing is as awful as Jan. Take a look.
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Oh, wait. I spoke to soon!
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I’ll be honest; Teresa seemed genuinely put off by the talk, straight from Jan’s mouth, of her sister-in-law “blowing” her ex. Kim D. soaked up the dark energy of Jan’s vile spewing, while fellow “friend of the Housewives” Jen listened in.
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Now, this is Jen. You remember Jen as “woman who broke Melissa’s sink.”
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But does this look like Teresa?
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Well, I guess they kind of look alike. Don’t tell Teresa that or it’ll be written into cookbook 10, which will most likely be called “Skinny Italian: Melissa’s advice book is based on these recipes.”
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Meanwhile, Kathy decided to take Jacqueline out for a little retail therapy, only to be caught off guard by a call from Teresa.
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The classic Mean Girls maneuver; the three-way secret speakerphone call. Teresa fell right into that trap, absurdly citing Jacqueline as the reason she had trouble with her brother to begin with. Long story short; Jacqueline caused the scene of the century at Kathy’s boutique of choice.
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Kathy was appalled by Jac’s “insane asylum” like behavior, but let’s be real. Don’t you think the crew of teenage girls and twenty-something women working the Jersey boutique loved that they witnessed that first hand?
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Rosie the Sage showed up to Melissa’s brunch, threw back a mimosa, and began to sell the group on Teresa’s holistic healing adventure.
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So, when does “I’m not getting involved! I’m not getting involved! I’m not getting involved” turn into “I can’t wait to journey to the castle for team building activities”?
Episode 6 of Season 5 closed with two booming moments, but first, feast your eyes on the magic that is a Jersey strip lesson.
Was Melissa having a sense of humor about the rumors or just oblivious to the fact that cameras were recording this:
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Oh, wait! She has a book to hock now! Aah, I'm a fool.
Also, was anything better than Kathy getting her freak on while noting how lame it was?
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In Kathy’s world, strippers are people who wear their hair upside-down.
Also, Caroline, thanks for showing up. Is the township of Hoboken paying you for your sponsorship?
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Bravo "The Real Housewives of New Jersey"
Albert Manzo clearly adores Hoboken. What a vacation!
Jen, not Jan, had filled Melissa in on the allegations Jan, not Jen, had thrown out about her promiscuity. The name “Kim D.” is like an un-auto-tuned note in “On Display” to Melissa’s ears.
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The sight of her, though, that’s even worse. That’s like “On Display” never existing! *Shudders* Kim just happened to show up at the same restaurant as Melissa, Kathy, and Jacqueline.
*Throws napkin on your head*
Didn’t Jacqueline kind of make up for her manic hatred/ hurt over Teresa with this:
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What does Kim D. smell like?
Kim attempted to be upfront with Melissa and her hubby yet refused to admit how she egged Melissa’s bridesmaid (Yes, that is correct!) to spill her secrets.
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Zio Joe, you’re so silly.
Episode 6 closed with an unexpected twist. Remember Jen?
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Sipping easy.
Does this look like Melissa?
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Jennifer came clean to Teresa regarding her blabbing to Melissa, making sure Teresa knew that she was merely looking to solidify her position selling the Gorga Mansion. “Teresa-bot… short-circuiting… can’t function… Skinny Italian… loveloveloveloveloveloooooove………..”
What do we think of this? Open honesty yet shameless business tactic. Isn’t it illegal for Housewives to act like rabid money fiends and to not pretend to celebrate each other’s success?
What did you think of The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 5 Episode 6? Feel free to tweet me your responses @JoeTranch or hit the comments below!
Thanks for reading my Photo Recap and Review of Season 5 Episode 6 of The Real Housewives of New Jersey!