Pretty Little Liars: Recap - You Shall Not Pass!

In truth, that was the episode title of Season 4 Episode 5. Can Pretty Little Liars ever truly find a viable way to take all of these girls to one college in order to keep this series alive forever (like Ali)? While Emily (Shay Mitchell) and Spencer (Troian Bellisario) snooped around Cicero College, Aria (Lucy Hale) played house with her family in order to make things easier for a depressed Ella (Holly Marie Combs), even offering to team up with her father, Byron (Chad Lowe) aka the worst. Meanwhile, Hanna (Ashley Benson) made a whopper of a discovery (that we all saw coming as soon as we realized Ashley (Laura Leighton) was hiding something behind a locked door). Still, the end of the episode was certainly a shocker, and a nasty catfight between Spencer and Emily was also popcorn worthy. Is their anything scarier than pledging a sorority that greets you as a patriotic singing chorus? The answer is no, but alas, I cannot close the recap here. Game of Thrones references saved the (my) day. Here is my Recap and Review of Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 5, “Gamma Zeta Die"!

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(Side Note: Sorry for the lack of original pictures this week. I'm away with no access to an HD dvr.)

The episode opened with a ridiculous dream sequence in which Hanna dreamt up her mother Ashley, lying asleep on an outside patio chair, wrapped up like a nomad. Gasp! Ashley revealed herself to be sporting a convict uniform and botched “Britney Shears” chopped up new hairdo. Who screamed and who laughed? I’m taking a poll.

Meanwhile, Spencer’s mother, Veronica (Leslie Fera), decided to make some executive decisions regarding Spencer’s future. God forbid someone needs to spend some time working on their mental health prior to heading off to college. Spencer’s stint in Radley is allegedly the stain that kept her out of Penn. Personally, I’m not sure her application even got there. Remember, Cece handed it in for her. Spencer was banished to several coaching sessions with a man hired to retool her image, therefore making her all shiny and new and Hastings again. I, personally, loved crazy Spencer, so I’ve been happy that the youngest Hastings has been owning her mental breakdown.

Emily’s father, Wayne (Eric Steinberg), had been feeling down in the dumps surrounding the abuse allegations and the lack of funding for Emily’s college dreams. Stanford might be down the tubes, but Emily is still special to him… and to us, of course. She’s one of the Pretty Little Liars, so she’s right up there with the likes of Gandhi and Elvis. Wayne ended up gifting his daughter whatever cash he had on him during Episode 5. In truth, Emily has had a rough few weeks.

Back at Rosewood High, Ella seemed especially snippy, tipping Aria off to some sort of shift in her recent generally good mood. Unfortunately, her European voyage had the brakes put on it. Thanks, Mike Montgomery (Cody Allen Christian), for from returning from the land known as “Place for Pretty Little Liars characters we have no clue what to do with,” only to destroy Ella’s happiness and throw her straight into the clutches of A. Mike, in truth, was not too keen on the idea of his mother moving away for several months. Understandably so, I’ll say; however, I was pretty sure Aria was winding up for a slap when she leaned in to push her little brother away following their heated debate. Mike figured Aria was down with the idea of shipping off their mother if it meant a free pass with Fitz. Why didn’t Aria just tell Mike the truth? Merely hours before their confrontation at home, Ella was attacked by a raging swarm of bees in her SUV. No, I’m not fabricating this. After a depressing talk with her daughter, who sat watching from afar, A’s planted beehive went to work, fleeing in a rage from the heating system in her automobile. See Mike? A is still in the picture. This has nothing to do with Ezra Fitz! Plot Twist: Ezra is A, right? Both siblings win… sort of.

In the end, a teary eyed Aria (Genuine or crocodile tears? Decide for yourself.) went to her father, Byron, in a last ditch effort to launch her mother to the safety of Austria. If Byron could chat with her mother, Aria knew he would get through to her. Of course, Byron has truly done nothing to make amends for the barrage of awfulness he’s brought into Aria’s world, so this was like watching Aria pull teeth; however, her father did come through. He met a bandaged up Ella for coffee, and the two had a heart-to-heart. In the end, Ella would get her second chance at a Eurotrip. Go wild, lady. You’ve EARNED it!

Now, let’s get down to the real business of Episode 5. Clever Spencer managed to link Tippy’s phone number, the seemingly dead end, to a college in the general area. Cicero College was among the packet of possibilities Spencer had been handed for her meeting with Brandon, her new college coach. Of course, a Hastings would never think twice about such a seemingly horrid place, but Spencer loves to get her hands dirty when it comes to Ali’s death. Later, Emily would make polite conversation with Brandon at The Brew, as Spencer was running late. As it turned out, the man seemed happy enough to help Emily with her own college predicament. Once Spencer arrived, she shut down any semblance of a civil conversation to bark the orders (I love Spencer. Get the job done.) of replacing her Brown University visit with a trip to party school Cicero. Emily would tag along.

Meanwhile, Hanna managed to discover that Ashley had been locking up her closet. A fishy situation, considering that Marins live off of takeout and showing off their designer duds. After a little lock picking, Hanna was in. Snooping took a snap, and Hanna managed to find, as expected, the “murder weapon.” Well, she found a gun and made assumptions. You know what they say about assumptions, Hanna. They make an ass out of you and… Well, don’t drag me into this mess. I’m just the guy writing the Recap and Review.

I’m surprised Spencer managed to breathe the air at Cicero without dry heaving, but Emily seemed to be falling in love, even toying with the idea of a Sorority scholarship. Spencer paid no mind to Emily’s silliness. Who could ever attend a non-Ivy? Brandon seemed smitten with Emily, so Spencer decided to head off on her own, targeting a boy with the “?” symbol on his shirt. Surely, he was a genius hacker like no other. Emily was instructed to perform some remedial task of her own, while Spencer sweet-talked the guy. The boy managed to tip her off to Greek Row, but the real heart of the scene came from the exchange of geek lingo. “You shall not pass!” from Spencer made my night. Battling over the Lannisters and the Targaryens made my year. Spencer is a little bit of both, in truth. Tyrion is a Lannister, after all.

Emily’s tardiness to the meeting spot was forgiven, but eventually the girls began butting heads over the college. Emily was actually interested in the school Spencer referred to as “podunk,” while Spencer couldn’t believe Emily would brush Alison’s case aside in favor of batting her eyelashes and essentially playing straight. At first, I was willing to call this battle of the brunettes a draw, because who really wants to choose between Liars (I Love Spencer), but I have to give the edge to Hastings just because the choir greeting outside of Emily’s sorority was just too much. It was just too much. “Gamma Zeta Die”!

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The rest of Season 4 Episode 5 took place at a virtual funhouse of a sorority party. Emily was immediately introduced to the shrine of Carla Grunwald, a supposedly evil house mother who was notorious for her strict laws of the land. Meanwhile, Spencer took her “milk carton” picture of Alison around from drunk to drunk, asking if anyone recognized her face. Hanna, who’d come up short back in Rosewood, decided to hightail it over to the party in search of her busy friends. Once she made contact with Spencer, revealing that she’d stolen the gun from her mother’s closet, Spencer instructed Marin to wait for her to find Emily before the trio could decide what to do with the gun. Meaning, Spencer wanted Hanna to catch her breath before she, as their leader, demanded that she take the weapon back to her father. Hanna sat and waited, while Spencer searched for a missing Emily.

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Emily, in the meantime, had been sidetracked by Brandon, who was appearing more and more interested in her. I was sure Spencer would find the duo lip-locked in some dingy sorority bedroom, but instead, she found so much more. A convenient bump from two drunken bimbos revealed a false wall in the upper quarters of the sorority house. Spencer had found… a secret passage. Of course she did! Inside, Hastings searched the bunker for clues finding none other than an unplugged pink phone. After reconnecting the cord, a call to Aria revealed just what Spencer had suspected. They had found the location of Tippy’s secret number. Who was Alison’s connection within the sorority house? Why were there claw marks on the wall? Could this have been the school that Alison got Cece expelled from?..

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After having a bowl of Cheetos dumped over her pretty blond head, Hanna decided that she’d had enough of waiting. The girl grabbed a mug and headed for the woods. After catching a glimpse of her friend, Emily attempted to make a b-line for the door, but was, yet again, caught off guard by Brandon. Basically, the conversation went something like, “I’m a lesbian. Bye!” and Emily was off into the woods to chase after Hanna. Eventually, she did find her friend… Spencer, that is, who’d also gone on the hunt. Unfortunately, the two were too late. The police caught Hanna red handed, burying the gun, and cuffed her. The entire party watched as she was hauled off to the police station with no true explanation. I’m not sure if the final A text revealed that A had tipped off the police, but she (or Ezra) sure did tip off the girls to one thing. Both Hanna and her mother were going to need to lawyer the hell up. Go, Veronica, go!

What did you think of Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 5, “Gamma Zeta Die" Is Hanna the one the police have been after, or did A just tip them off? What is Alison’s connection to this college? Were you Team Emily or Team Spencer in the end? Will Ella make it to Europe? What was the significance of A's final moment; the glancing a photograph of old Mrs. Grunwald?

Thanks for reading my Recap and Review of Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 5, “Gamma Zeta Die"!