Modern Family - Benched - Recap
Phil has the type of relationship with his step father that you would expect him to have. A crappy one. Phil rarely stands up for himself and spends a good amount of time stuttering and fumbling over his words making him adorkable. When the family gets together to show some support to Luke and Manny at their basketball game, the guys are surprised when the coach turns out to be a hot tempered, unhelpful jerk. I see he hasn't changed since his time as Radzinsky. Jay and Phil try to appeal to him to start actually acting like a coach and less like a douche, and he unsurprisingly quits and tells them to try and do better. Phil is excited at the opportunity to coach basketball again but Jay takes over immediately and shuts him out. He spends the majority of the game trying to encourage the team not to suck and ignores Phil's helpful hints. When it's clear the team is beyond help because Manny can barely throw a ball, he gives the reigns back over to Phil after admitting that his steak would never be chewy. I bet Phil makes some great meat.
If Mitchell spends anymore time at home, he's going to start plotting the murder of Dora the Explorer. He's slowly losing his mind being unemployed and he's more than willing to let Cam be the stay at home dad that he loves to be, but he'd never admit it. At the suggestion of his dad, Mitchell takes Cam to meet a potential new employer at his fancy new beach house. He's an interesting man who seems more interested in fruity drinks and growing a beard. Luckily, Cam likes fruity drinks and Mitchell has a beard, so it's a good match. He offers Mitchell the job and they go to another room to discuss it. Cam is closer to a breakdown while he's away from Lily so he's more than happy to encourage Mitchell to take the job. Hugs all around! Then they get locked in the garage, push a bunch of buttons they probably should never ever push to try and escape, and end up trashing the employer's car. Good times.
Claire takes Alex to shop for some new clothes but after running into some snobby friends from school, Alex begs her mom to let her shop alone. Claire runs into Gloria who's babysitting for Cam and Mitchell and discovers she's also feeling abandoned by her kid. Manny requested that Gloria not show up to his basketball games anymore and she's practically ready to get pregnant again. I bet that kid would be interesting. Feeling abandoned, Claire abducts Lily from Gloria and they take her on a shopping spree to make themselves feel better. Babies never reject you. Alex gives what seems to be a heartfelt apology to her mother until she asks for 20 bucks. Claire gets her revenge by rolling down the window and yelling to Claire to go buy a training bra before her boobies grow in. You don't screw with Claire. You can't mess with Gloria either who plays hard to get with Manny until he cracks and asks Jay for advice on how to win back her affection. He suggests the good old standby of some new earrings.
Funniest quotes of the night:
Phil: Someday, I'm going to be a Grandfather and then everybody better hide their meat.
Mitchell: I get to stay at home and plot the death of Dora the Explorer.