Looking - Recap: Kind of Like Ross and Rachel, Only Better

Episode 5 of Season 1 of Looking, “Looking for the Future,” was a very intimate and personal block of an episode. None of the rest of the show’s leads popped up even for a single scene, and the camera remained focused on the budding relationship between Paddy (Jonathan Groff) and Richie (Raúl Castillo). It’s rare, but sometimes I watch an episode of TV, and I think to myself that reviewing it will be difficult because of the importance of the nuances. The narrative here was that the two simply spent the day together. There! All recapped! This week, I’ll try my best to fill you in on what was learned and where these two go from here. Here is the rest of the Recap and Review of Season 1 Episode 5 of Looking, “Looking for the Future”!

HBO "Looking"

Episode 5 opened with Patrick stirring from sleep and tiptoeing across creaky floors to the shower. We’d quickly come to learn that these two have been spending quite a few nights together, though that doesn’t necessarily equate to getting to know each other much better beyond their clear chemistry. Remember, Richie is not only a new love interest. He’s an entirely different kind of a man for Patrick, and sometimes that kind of ambiguity can bring about both entrancing mystery and a scary sense of unknown. For example, while scrubbing his teeth clean with a finger, Patrick heard guitar strumming back in the bedroom, and his mind initially jumped to the cliches of being serenaded by a cheesy lover. Upon walking back into the room and actually seeing Richie, however, he couldn't deny the charm. First, I love the symbolism of Richie’s necklaces. This week, we were introduced to his scapular, a religious token warn for good luck. This is Patrick’s first clue that he’s been sharing his bed with someone special who’s also taking this seriously. Richie suddenly needs his luck again. The opening sex scenes were also great to witness. It’s not easy to make up-close oral sex with a swallow finish seem more intimate than raunchy on television, but these two managed to pull it off.

The diner discussion that followed in which the two conversed regarding the nature of what went down was also important. Patrick would allegedly never do such a thing, but we also know that Patrick is insecure when it comes to the vulnerability brought on by sexual intimacy. Richie, on the other hand, has seemed very comfortable with his sexuality from the start. Remember, though, that Patrick making assumptions about this man’s sexual preferences and nature was what got him into trouble in the first place. What went down in bed at the start of Episode 5 is not something Richie does on the daily. Rather, it was a moment of intimacy he wished to share with the guy he cares about. The diner scence also brought up two more important pieces of information. First, Richie formerly dated a man with HIV. It’s important for Looking to address the AIDS epidemic in any way possible, but it’s very important to start clearing up the ridiculous misconceptions about dating a person with HIV as someone who’s negative. Richie loved his former boyfriend, so he made it work. Yes, safety and sacrifices are required, but love is important. Also of utmost importance to point out is that Paddy loves The Goonies. That's the man Richie is falling for, not the guy who scours Google for pics of uncut penises.

There truly isn’t a more romantic date than a trip to an empty planetarium. Even Ross and Rachel knew that. This scene served as a personal discussion about the dynamics of sex between two gay men and the stigmas behind the positions. It was clever that Looking had Richie point out to Patrick that Rachel would have been the top in her relationship with Ross. Maybe it seemed silly to some viewers, but it was actually a very smart way of commenting that a sexual position doesn’t define you as a man. Patrick has "bottom shame." He doesn’t like anything going in "there" without immediately regretting his decision. Richie, on the other hand, noted that it’s important to adapt and that different sexual relationships with different partners are fulfilling in different ways. Defining yourself too rigidly sexually will only serve to hinder any sort of growth that exploration in the bedroom can bring about. Sex can be the best therapy. The lights are off. You’re naked and comfortably exposed. If you’re with someone special, it can work wonders.

HBO "Looking"

Subsequently, the two strolled through Golden Gate Park eating hotdogs and sharing their coming out stories. Prior, the boys also began discussing their first sexual experiences. Both first started experimenting as young teens with older guys, for what it’s worth. Patrick’s parents are the type to fixate on what having a gay son meant for them and their social lives. Richie, who comes from a Catholic upbringing, experienced surprising acceptance from his mother and complete intolerance from his father. I love that Looking gave Richie such a strong sense of faith and spirituality. There’s this common misconception today that you must choose between being openly gay or keeping to a faith, and that’s simply not true. It’s refreshing to see a character that won’t let others define his spirituality. Even Patrick’s judgment when Richie later revealed that he visits a “senora,” a Latina spiritual guide who uses rituals to read his fortune and guide him on his path, was shrugged off. Funny enough, it was Patrick who later attempted to visit the woman in an effort to have his questions answered. Patrick, who initially criticized the practice because it involved essentially giving control of your future decisions in life to another human being who subsequently plants seeds, jumped on board in typical curious Paddy fashion. Patrick’s curiosity is both his charm and his Achilles’ heel. Though, in this case, his hesitance eventually won out, and he and Richie left in a hurry. Sometimes, the stars are better left unread. Then again, the previously unrealized requirement that Richie would need to translate Patrick’s fortune might have been enough to drive him away on its own.

The final scene was perhaps the most important. In bed, Patrick confided in Richie that he’d like to try bottoming with him in the future. Richie enjoys the top role, and Patrick has now come to realize that sometimes letting go and surrendering to another person isn’t a sign of weakness. Instead, it’s a sign of strength and personal growth, and we’ve been witnessing Patrick on his path since the debut of Looking. To close the recap, Episode 5, did indeed end with sex but with Patrick giving and Richie on the receiving end. What’s interesting is that gay men need to have these conversations that everyone should be having. Sex is always about giving and receiving, and that has nothing to do with whether you’re on top or on the bottom.

What did you think of Looking Season 1 Episode 5, “Looking for the Future”? Are you excited for Richie to meet the friends next week, or do you already prefer these two isolated? Do you like Paddy and Richie together?

Thanks for reading my Recap and Review of Looking Season 1 Episode 5, “Looking for the Future”!