Jersey Shore - Going to Italia - Season Premiere Recap

The Jersey Shore gang have packed all the hair products and tanning lotions they can squeeze into their luggage and have left New Jersey. Next stop? Italy. I'm so sorry Italy.

5 minutes in as I watch the cast get their passport photos taken, I'm slowly starting to realize how these "Italians" know nothing of the country. Snookie thinks Europe is made up of England, Britain and Italy, Deena thinks Spanish is Italian, while Vinny wants to know the age of consent. Luckily his Uncle is there to impart some wisdom on his boy that if there's hair under their arms..he's good. Ugh.

The gang along with J-Wow, her new face and her boobies, hop on their flights and head to their Motherland. It's a race to the house for the good rooms and the girls are stuck in traffic on a bus. The boys make it to the new house first and it is a major step up from their last places. It's huge, nice, shiny and fancier. They will probably destroy it.

This season, Ronnie and Sam promise us no relationship drama. Yeah, I'll believe that when I see it. We should start a poll right now on how long it takes before their drama begins. Snookie promises her new, pretty boyfriend that she won't hook up with Vinny. Little does she know, but Mike is going to be the bigger problem. Mike tells Ronnie in confidence that he and Nicole hooked up while she was still with her boyfriend. Why do I feel like he's just trying to cause drama and mess it up for her.

Their first night out involves more chat about Jenn's boobs, and how the house can't handle their hair. All the outlets are shorting out from their hair appliances. Nicole and Pauly are the only ones who can drive so when they can't get a cab, everyone is basically reliant upon the two of them. The first night out is basically drama free but Mike is still showing his ugly self trying to get Nicole to make out with him. Deena is more successful in her pursuits and engages in a sloppy, disgusting makeout session with Pauly that I wish I hadn't seen.

Gems of the Night:

Mike on Nicole: If she lost some pounds, I'll hit it.

The girls trying to pronounce what city in Germany they're in.