Inside the Oscar Nominees Gift Bag: Condoms, syrup and plastic surgery
Sometimes, the nomination really can be the reward, particularly when the nominees receive their gift bag. Each year, Oscar nominees receive an eclectic collection of swag compiled by PR firm Distinctive Assets. The group is not affiliated with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, but that hasn't stopped the firm, which took over gift bag duties eleven years ago, from going all out. It's said that, in the past, the bags have contained items worth an estimated $45,000.
This year's collection? Not so much.
Don't get me wrong, there's still some seriously high-end swag in this year's collection, including:
-A trip to Australia (because any country responsible for the likes of Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman is truly doing God's work)
-A $5,000 face-lift gift certificate (I know I wouldn't mind a coupon for plastic surgery, if only to add a bit of realism to my Joan Rivers costume this Halloween)
But the majority of the gifts in this year's bag range from eminently useful to openly puzzling. Some are both. Take the following self-help book from QVC personality and radio talk show host Leeza Gibbons, titled Take 2: Your Guide to Happy Endings and New Beginnings.
Credit: Amazon
There's also a Portion-Control Dinnerware set by Slimware that runs for $59.
Credit: Slimware
In addition, the bag includes hair tie that double as bracelets, which runs about $80. There's also The Ultimate Fuzz Remover, which retails for $19.99.
Credit: Gleener
Also, for the maple syrup enthusiast in us all, we have a bottle of the brown stuff from Rouge Maple Gourmet Products that goes for $120. (You could pour $700 syrup on my pancakes, and they'd still taste staler than reruns of Designing Women. How the hell do you live for 27 years and not get the hang of pancakes?).
Credit: Rouge Maple Gourmet Products
From here, it goes downright perplexing. Yes, the bag includes...a bottle of Windex?
Credit: S.C. Johnson & Son
Also included for those who want to be clean while getting dirty:
Credit: Naked International
Because what 85-year-old Best Actress nominee Emmanuelle Riva really needs is a six-pack of Naked Brand luxury condoms.
Hey, no one appreciates the utility of a good jollybag more than me, but this seems like a perplexing choice when one of the Best Actress nominees is a 9-year-old girl. But then, I don't work in a high-end public relations firm. Maybe there's a shadowy board of directors that makes these kinds of white-knuckle decisions. Tragically, I'll never know.
But you might, if you ever find yourself nominated for an Academy Award. Want a bag? Get on it!