Ikea - Never Again

I just got back from what could possibly be the worst shopping experience of my life. Even worse than K-mart. Shopping at Ikea sucks!

I'm going to have to get back at those people who couldn't get enough of shopping at Ikea -- are you guys out of your mind? You call this shopping? How can anyone rave about ZERO customer service, ZERO user-friendliness, 30-minute wait times or more in line, DIRTINESS, CLUTTER -- holy crap, it's the complete opposite of their shi-shi catalogs and website. To hell with low prices, it's not even that low. I can't believe I was conned in going there by the pretty pictures! I hate Ikea!

A couple of years ago, I did "shop" at Ikea, but I did it via phone, and things were delivered 2-3 weeks later. It was an OK experience and pretty straight-forward. I thought of going to Ikea in New Jersey so I can get "instant gratification" and get my stuff immediately. Well, that's a nice thought right? Going to a store and pick up what you want, specially if you've already researched what you want and you just have to literally point, pay and bag. To my horror, this WILL NOT HAPPEN when you go to the Ikea store. First of all, there are many items that you can't just pick up (if you are lucky enough to find it among the throngs of suburbanites -- I know, Ikea is urbanite hell) -- you need to FIND a person in yellow to place your order at the furniture pick up. Basically Ikea's ratio is about 1 person in yellow to about 300 shoppers. And they are not happy people! OMG -- worse than K-mart! Ikea employees are not happy. I am so sure that Ikea employees also hate Ikea. I would hate to work there -- the atmosphere is awful.

And then there is the store layout. They try to fool you by providing a "map", but Ikea has designed it in a way to trap its customers inside. There's NO EASY WAY OUT. You have to pass by Kid's Ikea whether you like it or not. This of course is more than annoying, it's brutal. I think I became claustrophobic the moment I hit the dining tables. LOL. They might think that by showing you everything, you just might buy everything -- but the effect is the opposite: you just don't want to buy anything because its just too much information. Did I say how much I hate Ikea now? I hate Ikea!

So you're all confused, and when you reach the check out counter, all you really want to do is GET OF THERE. But NO. Ikea will not even let you do this, since, the furniture you ordered upstairs from the unhappy girls in yellow? You will need to wait 30 minutes for them to be given to you. Un-f#ckin-believable. There were easily 100 of us "customers" staring down the delivery announcers, and those guys know how bad their store is. And NO, I will not buy your stupid Swedish meatballs to pass the time.

I filled out their customer feedback form, and yes I gave them feedback. There were a couple of ladies who did the same and I saw that they were also not happy. The Ikea store is probably the worst store on Earth. No kidding. They must have a good PR agency because none of this has gotten out. Worst shopping experience of my life -- so bad that I'm traumatized now and I don't want to go shopping anywhere. Ikea has messed me up.

I hate Ikea! Don't go there. You've been warned.