Idol’s Baker’s Dozen: The Curse Of Anoop Desai

They pulled a fast one over on us, didn't they, those sneaky judges? Okay, so, not really. It wasn't a well kept rumor (or assumption, really) that the wild card round would yield not only an even twelve, but a Baker's Dozen. The last - and only  - previous season to 'surprise' us with this was season 8 - with the cursed rise of Ye Ol' Arrogant Prick, Anoop Desai. Neither his supercilious sneering nor his flimsy/weak/fragile/rickety weekly performances could stop the judges from allowing him extra weeks - not in the year of SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE! How diverse, this Idol universe!

He overstayed his welcome, eventually sent packing (thankfully!), and season 9 discarded that idea faster than Ellen's fourth chair. But with the many changes in Idol's status quo this year, a Top 13 has been rumored for weeks from reliable inside sources, but let's actually call it as it is - this "wild card" round, in general, was never really that to begin with. It was a bluff - Idol wasn't going to allow a measly Top 10 (how hard do you think they actually shake the tree?). But in their eyes, they saved face on an otherwise bold-faced lie. Read on...

Back in January, the unjust paradigm of the boy/girl parity was said to be history. Exec producer Ken Warwick stated:

“If I’ve got six fantastic boys and four average girls, I’m certainly not going to throw out a fantastic boy to put in another average girl, or vice versa.”

That was heralded (by me, anyway) as a bold, necessary move - too often in past seasons, the boy/girl duality excluded far better male and female voices from a just ascension just to meet Idol's mandate. It always proves disastrous.So, with these seven female singers and six male crooners, it is now astoundingly uneven! Woo hoo! Hooray for Idol! Hallelujah! They kept their word!!! Please note my sarcasm!!!  Ugh. Frustratingly, it appears that the coequality (which is most definitely biased and non-equal) is back, no matter how the powers that be attempt the masquerade.

So, what's one to make of season 10s "Lucky" 13"?

The Ladies...

Naima Adedapo was voted off after her supper-club Smooth Jazz reading of "Summertime", a sacred song select that screams for a moratorium. But as a "wildcard" choice, she saved herself a spot by singing the great Donny Hathaway staple "For All We Know" from the gut, in an emotionally denuded display. It wasn't perfect, but it was fervent - and I'm thrilled she survived.

Lauren Alaina is this year's female-to-beat, or so they say. Not sure when, or why, this happened, but she has the pipes to back up her claque - if only her persona was less an impish irritant.

Without Ashthon Jones, American Idol 10 would've been a second Diva-less year in a row (and last year's Paige Miles so does NOT count). And this is not to imply that Jones has the intestinal fortitude - or the vocal prowess - to earn the title "Diva" - she doesn't. She's barely a Divette. She wheezed the important cadences of "And I Am Telling You" during her Hollywood AND wildcard performances. But that didn't halt the judges from picking her over more deserving nominees.

After a good-not-great Top 24 performance of the Pretenders "I'll Stand By You", Pia Toscano head-scratchingly received a rapturous standing ovation from the judges, despite a less-than-perfect anti-climactic final power note. Surely there's a limpidness to her voice, but it's also indistinguishable - so far. But, there's no denying her ability and staying power.

This Megia - like her doppelganger Charice - sounds like she spent the first decade of her life immersed in her Celine Dion and Whitney Houston collections - which, in turn, begat a big-voiced, dispassionate, well, android. Her "Out Here On My Own" displayed a lovely simplicity she barely exercised in her previous performances - and at the very least hints at a scintilla of inner emotion. Until further proof, it's pure mechanism.

It's an Idol world gone mad that Haley Reinhart clambers into the Top 13 after a contrived, prodigiously affected Betty Boop reading of Alicia Keys' "Fallin". That this growling poseur rallied enough votes over Lauren Turner, Kendra Chantelle and Naima only displays America's blatant lack of musicality - and its love of a good con job. Sometimes, pretty sadly trumps talent.

Karen Rodriguez's Spanglish take on Mariah Carey's "Hero" gave JLo goose pimples, but it bore too many remnants of a Miss Teen USA telecast. There's an elegance to her delivery, especially when singing in Spanish, but somehow it dissolved during the English verses. This could be due to the songs saccharine, dreary nature, though, since she's a fine singer who exudes warmth, and a firecracker of a personality; I hope we experience as much in future performances.

...and Gentlemen...

Casey Abrams' frenzied "I Put A Spell On You" was a comedown after previously stellar blues-inflected choices; the natural timbre of his growl was lost - and the tonal charm eradicated - by subsuming Screaming Jay Hawkins' maniacal tendencies sans the humorous distinctions. But, Abrams has proven to be this years frontrunner, and rightly so.

Perhaps when I called James Durbin the "antichrist of Season 10" (along with the monumentally awful Clint Jun-Gamboa) I was a bit premature - sure, he's the flaming banshee with a shrieking, incontinent fail wail he often mistakes for unrestrained passion. It's totally unfocused (and the Adam Lambert comparisons are misguided at best, risible at worst; Lambert's theater-trained vocals were a soaring display of power, control and emotion). But his take on Judas Priest's "You Got Another Thing Coming" was more centered, with his howls punched in the right places. Still an earworm, but at least an earworm with scintilla of promise.

After being voted off by the public for his somewhat wonky reading of Bruno Mars' "Just The Way You Are", Stefano Langone was one of the "wildcard" choices, performing Smokie Norful's awfully godly (and so very godawful) "I Need You Now", thus bringing new meaning to "a wing and a prayer." As one of the loveliest voices of the season, it wasn't undeserved, but I hope he brings the musical balls to match the emotional pull with future performances. I need more spice with my milquetoast.

Jacob Lusk's masticated, swallowed, and regurgitated shredding of "God Bless The Child" gifted Randy his most outrageously pea-brained quote of all time, proclaiming it the single greatest performance in Idol's 10 year history. What a punch to the gut to Fantasia's "Summertime" and "I Believe", Kelly's "Stuff Like That There" and "Natural Woman", Tamyra's "A House Is Not A Home", Adam's "Mad World", and any other past Idols who transcendentally elevated this show to a rarely seen hierarchy. This guy gets on stage, burps his way through a timeless classic and Randy reaches new heights of hyperbole. And audacity. For shame! (His "House Is Not A Home" reigned in the campy histrionics somewhat, though he still has the scariest voice since Anita Baker). I'm not sure, though, how long lily-white, middle America will stomach  the juxtaposition of Lusk's flamboyantly gay persona with his Jesus-loving melodrama (Bishop Eddie Long, look out!). I'm in the minority on Lusk, I know - but with former Idols like Adam Lambert as true fans (Lambert tweeted, post-"A House Is Not A Home", "Werk it the f**k out sister! I’m so excited to hear u sing every week!!”) who cares what a peasant like me has to say?

Scotty McCreery is, if anything, as authentic a Country crooner as Idol's ever seen. Or as 'authentic' as a 17-year old can actually be (and don't convince me that Carrie Underwood's Countrypolitan oeuvre is anything other than what it is - uber-polished, generic pop music with a dash of modern honky tonk). But his aesthetic is in the classic tradition of Randy Travis, though too often depends on mimicry (Travis, BTW, is one of the great country vocalists). If he digs deep down to find his George Jones - hell, at this point I'd take a Kenny Chesney! - he might actually outgrow the Idol curse as a one trick pony.

We have Idol's first Eccentric Hipster in Paul McDonald. A beautiful rendition (with the unjustifiably discarded Kendra Chatelle) of "Blackbird" during Hollywood's Beatles round secured him a place in the higher echelon's of Idol's Top 24. His quirky, odd "Maggie Mae" from this week's Top 24 earned him a place in the Baker's Dozen. But how far can one coast on idiosyncrasy? As far as the cougars of America will take him.