GIRLS - Recap: It's My First Death, so I'm Kinda Numb

Episode 4 of Season 3 of GIRLS, “Dead Inside,” tackled an interesting subject in the concept of death from the perspective of someone with a sense of self-importance that just might be unbelievably too strong. When Hannah’s (Lena Dunham) editor, David, is found belly-up in the waters beside Chelsea Piers, our antiheroine is forced to deal with the hard truth… that she simply doesn’t feel anything. Well, there is the fear of losing an e-book deal. Meanwhile, Marnie’s (Allison Williams) music video continued to haunt her existence, and Jessa (Jemima Kirke) dealt with a ghost of her own. Here is the Recap and Review of GIRLS Season 3 Episode 4, “Dead Inside”!

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Death is something that plagues all of our lives. Jessa was correct in her declaration that if time is not lineal, death is, was, and always will be. Still, when it comes to the concept of life coming to an end, any sort of realization or understanding always seems to feel like nothing more than a safety blanket. How are we supposed to appropriately handle the situation if someone somewhat close to us passes away, yet the greater impact includes a completely devastating blow to our own personal lives? I’ve said it before in reviews, and I’ll reiterate now. These characters are extremes. We’re not meant to relate entirely. We’re meant to see Hannah and her friends living as realistic examples with cartoonish intensity. While a normal human being might feel an intense pang of guilt for quite rationally privately wondering, if only for a split second through their sorrow, what would become of that super important book deal in the wake of their editor’s passing, Hannah feels nothing over the death of David and instead obsesses over the fate of her career. No, she isn’t you. She’s the uncomfortable realization that maybe you too would have that thought cross your mind. Even a mere thought is still a thought. It’s something.

It was interesting to see Adam’s (Adam Driver) complete befuddlement regarding Hannah’s absolute lack of grief. Hannah is his entire world. She has his whole heart, yet what does that mean if Hannah is the kind of young woman who doesn’t even flinch when her friend dies? What is that person’s love worth? That’s the thing about Adam. He’s absolutely detached from society and materialism, but he’s not callous in the sense that he’d view David’s bloated corpse floating in the Hudson River as purely an act of nature. Season 3 Adam is impressive. He stands for bucking the shame of not fitting the mold of society’s standards for living and thriving, but he also has this odd sense of human compassion that says his motives aren’t as selfish as we once assumed. I’m not going to forget Season 1 Adam, but this is Season 3.

Meanwhile, Jessa has begun to reincorporate herself in the social world of New York City, yet she’s someone who’s, like Adam, completely detached from the responsibilities of living in a modern metropolis. The difference between Jessa and Adam is that Jessa has a sense of entitlement in her life of solidarity. She has a social life. She has friends and lovers, but with relationships come responsibilities! You can’t build deep friendships and not expect to have obligations to respect another person’s life. When Adam commits to a relationship, he has a sense of dedication. At least, Adam has grown to that place. Only time will tell if Jessa can get there as well. There seems to be a sense of understanding that she’s fighting this battle alone, but there also doesn’t seem to be much remorse. That isn’t to say that there’s not pain whatsoever, but it’s still driven by her ego.

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During Episode 4, Jessa reconnected with an old friend. Funny enough, Season was supposed to be long dead. In fact, Jessa even received an invite to her funeral. Key word: invite. Jessa never showed up to her very close friend’s ceremony. Jessa, inspired by Shoshanna (Zosia Mamet), decided to reconnect with those close to Season in an effort to either find some sense of closure or simply pay some semblance of respects to her deceased friend. After a phone call, Jessa learned the truth. Season had faked her death. After venturing over to her living friend’s house, Jessa learned that the woman had bucked her drug addiction, something Jessa previously neglected to help her cope with, in favor of starting a happy and healthy life for herself. True, Jessa had a right to be upset that her friend faked her own death to avoid hanging out with her anymore, but more importantly, there was no sort of realization that perhaps Jessa had earned the loss until after she’d already left Season’s brownstone.

Jessa closed out her arc this week with a quiet walk through the park. Jemima Kirke did some good work during Episode 4, and her acting is perhaps why fans feel so much for Jessa. There’s almost a sense of self-punishment to her actions at this point. We’re privy to her relationship with her father, but that doesn’t entirely excuse her behavior and choices. For example, there was no excuse for allowing Shoshanna’s story about her high school friend who passed away in a car accident to shoot in one ear and out the other. Then again, Shoshanna seemed absolutely apathetic to it herself, so why should Jessa care beyond the fact that the story itself was that of a tragic nature?

Marnie has taken to doing that which all of us do when we feel like our life is one big unscheduled mess of nothingness; she works out like crazy. I think we all understand that sense of obligatory scheduling. If you’ve ever been out a job, fresh out of a relationship, or simply have too much free time on your hands, there’s a need to keep busy no matter what. Still, Marnie can’t escape Charlie. The “What I Am” YouTube music video is hilarious, but it stands for what her relationship has unraveled into. It’s a joke, and it’s what she uses to define her life. This week, Ray (Alex Karpovski) showed their boss, Hermie (Colin Quinn), the work of YouTube sensation, Marnie, leading Marnie to have a bit of a meltdown at Grumpy’s.

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Again, is it ever really appropriate to, say, out-loud acknowledge the fact that you feel your job is beneath you in front of your boss? No, it isn’t. Having said that, Marnie has had a tough trip in her personal life over the past few seasons. I also think Marnie has been, in a sense, the least endearing of the foursome on GIRLS because her goals seem to be those of a conformist. She wants the perfect boyfriend, a job with “fancy” people, etc. She believes she deserves that. However, look at whom she surrounds herself with. She might not want that which she actually thinks she wants. If you search for personal fulfillment in another person, you probably don’t have your priorities straight. I’m not sure whether Marnie actually quit her job, but I’m excited to see where she goes during the rest of Season 3.

Caroline (Gaby Hoffman) and Laird (Jon Glaser) worked as a means of gauging Hannah’s grief and emotional nature during Episode 4. Yes, watching the trio prance through the cemetery along with Laird’s dead turtle, whom Laird managed to someone squeeze into a POM Wonderful bottle, was entertaining, but the conversation that happened afterwards was more important. Caroline fabricated an intricate story of how Adam once dedicated his existence to caring for their young cousin who died of muscular dystrophy at age 12, even going as far as to say he made her dream come true by taking her to his senior prom. Caroline didn’t criticize Hannah too heavily when Horvath neglected to shed a tear, but Hannah lashed out after realizing that the entire tale was made up to test her. It was interesting to watch Hannah react because we know that she’s a writer, and writers work off of emotions and experiences. If she can’t shed a tear over that, what is there? Laird, meanwhile, continued to weep ever after hearing the truth.

Episode 4 of Season 3 of GIRLS closed with Hannah retelling the exact story Caroline had drummed up to Adam with herself as the heroine. I enjoyed the conversation Hannah had with Caroline regarding mental health and medication previously. Hannah once felt completely trapped by her own existence. Season 3 Hannah feels like she’s a part of the world once again, but she worries that her emotional complexity is not enough to keep up with someone like Adam, her partner. What’s interesting is that Hannah’s fear of this is equal parts self-loathing and jealousy. She hates that Adam might someday see her as inadequate in the heart, but she also can’t help but compete with him, even when it comes to grieving over a dead friend.

What did you think of GIRLS Season 3 Episode 4, “Dead Inside”? Will Marnie find a better sense of self? Do you think Jessa will kick her selfish ways in favor of honoring her relationships? What did Episode 4 tell you about Hannah?

Thanks for reading my Recap and Review of GIRLS Season 3 Episode 4, “Dead Inside”!