Dallas - Season 1 Episode 4 - The Last Hurrah - Recap

Another night, another fine episode of Dallas! A cow giving birth, some sexy shirtless scenes, and an annoying cliffhanger in true soapy fashion. Who’s ready for more Dallas?

The episode opens with Christopher having a wet dream… but not about his wife. Obviously Elena is the only one on his mind. And we get another shirtless Jesse Metcalfe scene, so who’s really complaining? John Ross and J.R. conspire to blackmail Lobell by using his son’s extensive felony record, and John Ross makes a threatening call to Rebecca. I love this theme song and all it’s cheesiness.

Marta’s real name is revealed as Veronica, who has bipolar disorder. She’s “crazier than an outhouse rat”, apparently. J.R. conspires with someone (does anyone NOT conspire on this show) to take back Southfork as his birthright, and it sounds like it involves John Ross and his romantic links. Ann asks Bobby for help looking through his family’s belongings to decide what to bring when they move into the condo. Elena tells Christopher about some offers being made toward their project, and he seems pretty interested. Breakfast gets awkward when Rebecca comes down… dramatic music always equals awkward.

J.R. goes to see Sue Ellen, who is meeting with Cliff. He says he’ll never stop fighting for what’s his. Their feuding is pretty amusing, I must admit. J.R.’s eyebrows do most of the talking anyway, all by themselves. John Ross meets up with Rebecca, threatening to expose that the IP address that sent the email belonged to her, but she insists she didn’t send the email. He’ll expose her if she doesn’t obtain evidence of Lobell’s son doing drugs. Elena also meets up with John Ross at “his bar” and tells him about a large supply of oil that she has discovered just waiting for them if he can convince Mrs. Henderson to let them have it. The creepy/awkward guy that J.R. met up with earlier is also spying on the two of them.

Christopher and Bobby are chatting when they get called away to help birth a preggo cow. Now THAT’S awesome. Things go swimmingly with Mrs. Henderson, even with John Ross ignoring Marta’s calls. Within the week, they will have oil, and lots of it. Still being spied on, the creepy/awkward guy (Bob) snaps some pictures and calls J.R. Uh oh… Bobby and Christopher have a heart-to-heart where he reveals what happened with Elena and the email, begging for some advice. Bobby thinks that Christopher should let Elena go, especially since he really loves Rebecca.

Rebecca meets up with Lobell’s son, who ends up seeming overly pleasant and totally innocent. He refuses her efforts to “get him high.” Meanwhile, crazy Marta/Veronica waits up for John Ross to get home, who lies and says he was out playing pool with his friends. He’s a liar who has the desire to cheat! But then again, Marta/Veronica is a crazy bipolar chick. Maybe they’re meant for each other. Rebecca walks in on her brother installing the flash drive into Christopher’s computer… how did he just get in? She kicks him out, clearly distressed.

It would seem Marta/Victoria is John Ross’s sugar mommy as she tries to buy him an expensive watch… and after Rebecca calls saying she couldn’t get anything out of Lobell’s son, Victoria hops on that so fast. She promises to deliver results. In the awkward cow birthing scene, Bobby reveals that they’ll have to kill the mommy in order to successfully deliver the child. It’s a nice reflection on what happened in Christopher’s own life as he is adopted and never knew his real parents. The moment where they deliver the child to it’s new mommy is probably the episode’s most intimate and touching moment.

J.R. lays the seeds for Elena to ask John Ross to the final Southfork BBQ to take place later that night before going to lunch with Sue Ellen. She still suspects that J.R. might be up to no good, as does Cliff. Christopher delivers some money to Elena because he decides he doesn’t want to work with her anymore, protecting him from “any obligation to her.” She seems shocked, and it’s heartbreaking to see him lie to her about his feelings. As a result, most likely due to loneliness, Elena invites John Ross via text to be her date to the BBQ.

J.R. visits Marta/Veronica with those pesky photos of John Ross with Elena, and says that John Ross was just using her. He says, “I know you had feelings for John Ross, but at least you know what you’re getting with me.” Um, is that just ridiculously creepy or what? Bobby and Ann have a moment where she finds his mother’s silver, and they bask in the happiness for a minute. J.R. then goes to Lobell and successfully blackmails him into drafting up a new transfer of Southfork, no longer split 50/50 between himself and John Ross. He wants Southfork all for himself!

At the BBQ, before anything good happens with John Ross revealing Rebecca’s secret, she manages to pull Christopher off in private. Tears well in her eyes, she says she needs to tell him something about the email, and then…. CLIFFHANGER. Well, ain’t that just the most annoying thing ever? I can’t wait for the next episode. Is she going to reveal what really happened with the email? This show is so good!