The Bachelorette - Recap: Putting the 'Lousy' In 'Jealousy'

I'm not even necessarily pro-Nick, I'm just anti-editing trickery. Nick is getting the "Bad Guy Edit" and I just don't know what makes him such a bad guy. For as confused as the other guys are with what Andi sees in Nick, I'm as puzzled by what the guys see as so objectionable. But then, I imagine there's a lot we're not seeing, which implies that while the editing team is making Nick look pretty lousy, they likely have the ability to make him look worse if they wanted to (any number of things in any given show could be taken the wrong way and edited to look worse, I would guess). So it's interesting to think that there's still a lot more story we're not being shown. Anyway, enough abstract rambling, let's get to the episode...

Credit: ABC

THE HUSTLE IN BRUSSELS

So we're in Brussels, Belgium, and this place is absolutely GORGEOUS. I mean, there's no Jean Claude Van Damme to be seen anywhere in this episode, but that doesn't change the glorious landscapes, the upscale town, and one of the nicest hotel suites I've ever seen. The guys essentially have it MADE in a suite that's more an apartment than a hotel room. Which is a good thing for the guys, because they need the comfort of a swagged-out room to comfort them when they find out what's in store. There will be two one-on-one dates, and one group date. However, there will be no rose on either of the one-on-one dates. Rather, the rose will be handed out on the group dates.

Naturally, Nick wants a third one-on-one, but he's not particularly worried about his standing with Andi, one way or the other. Which is good for him, since the first one-on-one goes to Marcus. Marcus is a bit of a strange case, for me, in that he kicked off the season being one of the more identifiable guys on the show, particularly since Andi made such a big deal about his looks. But, in recent weeks, he's faded to the background as Josh and Nick have become more centered in the narrative of the show. Hell, even coach Brian gets more screentime, it seems. So, for anyone who was into Marcus at the start, this is probably the episode for you.

With that said, I wonder about the show's budget. The solo dates are basically "Hey, let's go eat somewhere." As is the case here with Marcus: their date involves a leisurely stroll through Brussels to a bistro where they eat mussels and drink wine. Then they do a bit more strolling before heading to a castle of some kind to have dinner. What happened to helicopters and impromptu visits to mountain lodges? It's too low-key to be all that memorable. However, I suppose there's a positive in that we get to find out a bit more about Marcus himself. While speaking with him, Andi learns that Marcus's dad left when he was young and, heartbreakingly, he doesn't know why.

Andi pleads with him not to blame himself for his father leaving, and it seems clear that this has been something with which Marcus has struggled for a very long time. He explains his tumultuous relationship with his mother, saying that she wasn't the best mother when he was growing up, but states that she tried the best she could. He believes his mother was very strict because her parents were very strict and wanted the best for her (as he explains, "They beat it into her."). But their relationship is better now, seeing her two-three times a week, and having coffee every Sunday. He also sees his sister damn near everyday, which is nothing if not cute. But then the date descends into soundbites about falling in love. Earlier in the date, Marcus explained that he thought about leaving early in the competition because he was afraid of the feelings he was having so early on. But now, he's fairly confident in his assertion that he's in love with Andi. This kicks off an episode-long bit in which each of the guys declares his feelings for Andi in increasingly dramatic ways.

Starting with Nick...

Credit: ABC

SURPRISE VISIT

Nick decides he can't stand to be away from Andi any longer, especially since he's still bugged by the idea of her seeing other guys, having apparently forgotten what show he signed up to be on. So Nick sneaks out of the guys' room and goes to the front desk at the hotel with some ridiculous story about forgetting which room he was in, and needing to be reminded by looking up the reservation, which he claims is under his wife's (Andi's) name. This is how he discovers which room Andi is in, although I'm not sure how this scheme works at all, since he's grinning like a little kid about to play a practical joke the entire time.

Upon opening the hotel room door, Andi is stunned to find Nick there. Yet she isn't exactly phased about the circumvention of the rules, since nothing technically prohibits a contestant from arranging his own impromptu one-on-one date. In fact, Andi actually admires Nick for his guts in just going for it, since they're a week away from hometown visits and things are getting serious (as if they haven't been already). Nick is giddy like a kid with a crush, and it makes me like him far more than I have at any point in the competition, since every word that comes out of his mouth seems to be about how badly he wants to be with Andi. It makes him seem really sincere, even as his confessionals are really creepy (his murder-face and deliberate speech patterns do him no favors).

Credit: ABC

AMERICAN YOUNG

The second one-on-one date goes to Josh, and it's a similarly blase affair. I understand the budgetary limitations of a globe-trotting show, but you rarely get these sorts of uneventful, boring dates on The Bachelor. Of course, this is likely because The Bachelor is the breadwinner of the two shows, and thus receives the lion's share of the budget between the two shows in the franchise. Although it'll be interesting to see if Bachelor In Paradise suffers from the same issues, which could be entirely in my head. It's just a theory, after all.

As for this one-on-one, we get Andi trying to pierce through Josh's shell, as she feels all of the other guys in the competition are ready for marriage except Josh. However, Josh reassures her by explaining that "I love you" are not words he takes lightly. He explains that if he says it to a woman, that's the woman he intends to marry. He comes just short of saying those words to Andi, saying instead that he's falling in love with her. And this puts Andi in an unbelievably good mood, because it's been clear for a while now that she's a woman who desperately wants to be given a reason to continue falling for Josh. He's been my pick to win since about the third week, and I see no way he doesn't at least make it to the finals. But then, stranger things have happened.

I suppose the money for this date went towards booking the recording act known as American Young, who serenade Josh and Andi with a song I kind of wish I knew the name of, since it was the kind of treacly ballad that ticks off all my boxes. And the camerawork is really something this week, as Josh and Andi makeout under several money shot-worthy archways that are lit by the lights illuminating American Young (presumably. All I know is that ain't moonlight). Andi gushes as she recounts, no less than three times, "Josh told me tonight that he's falling in love." I swear, every two minutes features a reset for people who might have nodded off or switched the channel since the last segment, which is good if you're not someone who consistently watches, but is painful if you're someone who sticks it out all the way through.

Credit: ABC

UNITED AGAINST NICK

The group date is another tour around Brussels, but this, at least, is a little more interesting. The group rides on rail bikes, which is a pedal-operated rail platform that they can use to tour the scenic side of Belgium. This proves to be a bit of a workout for the guys, but they keep themselves occupied by talking in rhymes, in an endearingly corny bit. However, it's clear that Nick is still being a sourpuss about this whole group date thing, and is reassuring himself with the possibility of getting the rose. And, really, I'm not sure he's wrong to be confident about his chances here, as I have no idea who else she would possibly give a rose to, since Brian is sweet but ineffectual, Dylan is a complete non-entity, and Chris isn't the kind of guy that has inspired the sort of passion in Andi that demands a guaranteed hometown visit.

This more or less comes to pass when they get to the second part of the date, a visit to a sacred monastery that bans kissing. Because it's holy ground, Andi is keeping strict with the rule about kissing. Well, except for Nick, who flirts with the possibility of making a move. Andi doesn't seem that concerned about stopping him, and I wouldn't be surprised if she'd have seen it as something gutsy (I could totally hear her saying something like, "He showed me he doesn't care about the rules! He went for it like a man!"). But Nick states he has too much respect for the sacred ground, and opts not to go all the way. And...well, that's pretty much the most noteworthy thing that happens, other than Andi and Chris modeling clay in a scene straight out of Ghost.

But then comes the twist: the person who receives the group date rose will get an impromptu one-on-one date, while the other three guys are sent back to the hotel. The minute we hear this, it's virtually a guarantee that Nick is getting the damn rose, and so it's no surprise to find that this is exactly what happens. And the other three guys are more than a little disappointed, insisting that Nick is arrogant, and that he's here for the wrong reasons. Hell, earlier in the episode, Marcus insisted that he believes Nick will walk away from Andi if he makes it to the final Rose Ceremony. The big issue a lot of the guys seem to have with Nick is that he's very calculated about everything he does, which borders on straight-up strategy. And I can kind of see where they're coming from, in that it's pretty disrespectful to treat courtship like a game of Survivor. And yet, these are circumstances that occasionally demand a certain amount of forward thinking. I mean, courtship is just like that, sometimes. You don't always have a person all to yourself when you're courting them, meaning you need to think of how you're going to win that person's heart before the other guy does. If nothing else, it's prudent. Granted, Nick could probably stand to drop whatever attitude he has about his certainty that Andi will pick him at the end, but he has no real reason not to think this from how Andi has been around him. It's not as if he's making all this up.

After all, on the impromptu one-on-one, he and Andi show tremendous chemistry, talking about their likes and dislikes, and about parenting techniques (he says he would be lenient with a son, but more strict and overprotective with a daughter. Read into that what you will). At the very least, in all his confessionals, Nick talks about needing to get the rose because he needs to be with Andi, whereas Chris, for example, talks about needing to get the rose because he can't fathom going home before getting "to that point" (Hometown Visits). I'm not sure he mentions Andi's name once. And I don't mean to use this to cast aspersions against Chris, who likely didn't mean his statement to sound dismissive of Andi. But I'm illustrating how Chris (or anyone, really) could very easily be made into the bad guy if he were getting the same kind of edit Nick is getting.

Credit: ABC

THE ROSE

After the group date, the guys have words with Nick after conversing among themselves about how much they hate the guy, and what a self-absorbed jerk he is. The fight is like a bunch of teenagers ganging up on a guy they don't like because he was picked as captain of the swim team. They call Nick out for presuming himself to be the frontrunner, and for "strategizing" (which I suppose means he's being taken to task for treating this like a game). He's even accused of being there for the wrong reasons, which isn't a criticism I entirely get, but there you have it. Granted, I was on Nick's side during this argument, even though I like Josh, Brian, and Marcus a whole lot more, mainly because it all seemed so petty. I'm just not sure what any of the guys expect Nick to do. As long as he's a perfect gentleman with Andi, I don't really see what the problem is other than jealousy.

Of course, Nick then goes an makes me feel like a wad for defending him when, at the cocktail party, he makes a point of cutting into Brian's time with Andi, despite already having a rose himself. Yet, once again, Andi doesn't exactly discourage Nick's bold moves. This, after Brian all but declares that he's madly in love with Andi, an act that seemed really hard for the guy. By then, it's fairly clear who's going home, but some of the guys aren't done scrambling just yet. Deciding he needs to strategize himself, Chris pulls Andi aside just before the Rose Ceremony is set to begin, and plants a huge kiss on her. Much like with any time a guy takes charge, Andi is impressed with Chris. I'm of the mind that the editing team wants us to think this is why Chris gets saved, but I'd bet money Andi's mind was made up long before Chris kissed her.

Nick is safe, leaving roses for three other guys, and they are...

JOSH
MARCUS
CHRIS

BRIAN and DYLAN are eliminated from THE BACHELORETTE!

On his way to the limo, Dylan fights back tears and proclaims that he deserves to fall in love again. Brian, meanwhile, is deeply broken up about being eliminated, and says he's going to be really angry if Andi doesn't end up with the kind of guy she deserves. Unfortunately, bad timing rears its ugly head, as Andi asks the Final Four to give her a smile to cut through all the sad tension, and this prompts all four guys to start laughing. Brian hears the laughter, and begins cursing to himself, saying that he doesn't exactly need to hear laughter right now when his heart is pretty much broken. Andi was the girl of his dreams, he explains, and this tears him up. Poor guy. I was rooting for him, even while I never really thought he had much of a chance.

We get a brief preview for next week that reveals this will be the episode where Andi and the remaining guys learn about Eric's death, so...yeah, I'm expecting it to be a fairly grim time. But we're nearing the end of the journey, so the plus side is that we'll soon be free of questioning who is and isn't here for "the right reasons."

So what did you think of tonight's episode? Did Andi pick the right guys? Sound off in the comments!