The Bachelorette - Recap: Poker Face
This level of awkwardness is virtually unprecedented in the history of reality television. In fact, it borders on surreal. The Bachelorette hasn't always been the most graceful show, exactly, but even if it had been the very height of televised class, it still would have been a tall order for the show to decide how best to handle the passing of Eric Hill once it came time for us to say goodbye to him in the show. This episode was a tribute of sorts, although it didn't exactly paint Eric in the best light. I suppose the best thing I can say is that this episode illustrated that Eric was not the Disney Prince a lot of people, myself included, seemed to think he was. He was, in fact, something far more relatable: human.
Gone was the veneer of perfection that characterized his time on the show, replaced by awkwardness and misunderstanding. It wasn't his finest hour, but this somehow helped me to like Eric even more, just for showing that he was a man with flaws who was prone to foot-in-mouth syndrome and other mistakes. Nobody is perfect, after all.
Credit: ABC
ONE-ON-ONE
So we're in Connecticut this week at the Mohegan Sun, and the one-on-one dates are split down the middle between a frontrunner and a dark horse about whom we know almost nothing except for a tragic backstory. But then, that's mostly why Andi decides to give Dylan that first date, since she's noticed his shy and reserved nature and wants him to open up. For his part, Dylan recognizes that he needs to open up more, and so he goes into their date on a steam-powered train with the intention of letting her get to know the real Dylan. And so he tells her about the eight-year relationship that went south, before going a bit into his childhood in Connecticut, as this becomes a sort of impromptu Hometown Visit. Of course, getting to know Dylan means learning the history with his family, and so he tells her the full story at dinner. In short, he lost both his sister and his brother to drug addiction over the last four years, and these losses have been impossibly difficult for his mother, his uncle, and himself. Andi does her best to hold it together for Dylan's sake, but breaks down in front of the camera, intimating that she was upset with herself for forcing him to relive the tragedy for her sake. However, she makes it up to Dylan by giving him a rose, although she swears to him that it's not a pity rose, but rather a rose given out of his willingness to open up to her. It's an endearing sentiment, to be sure, but I'm not certain I felt any kind of chemistry between Andi and Dylan whatsoever. Not saying it was a pity rose, but they didn't exactly kiss either. Then again, that sort of heaviness likely killed the mood.
But Marcus had no such problems on his one-on-one date with Andi, even though he wasn't exactly comfortable with Andi's chosen activity: in her mission to overcome her fear of heights, she arranges to have them repel down the side of the massive Mohegan Sun hotel. Unfortunately, it's freezing outside, and the wind is positively out of control, which only heightens Andi's fear. Before long, she's having a full-on panic attack, frozen over the side of the building, refusing to repel down alongside Marcus. For his part, Marcus is every bit as terrified, but he steels his nerves out of a desire to be "the man in the relationship." He calms her nerves by imploring her to focus on him, and to repel down just a tiny bit at a time. The other guys spied the date from their room, watching the couple slowly inch down the side of the building (although they luckily missed when Andi pulled Marcus to her and planted a big kiss on him). It was a moment that really solidified Marcus as someone more than just a guy who goes on and on about his connection to Andi. He's someone who's actually willing to show the lengths he'd go to for her. Marcus is also kind of endearing, covering up the rose at dinner because it's "the elephant in the room" and he doesn't want to have to look at it. Naturally, he gets the rose anyway, and the couple soon finds themselves at a concert where they dance and sing along to the country band playing the show, with Marcus going as far as to confess he's falling for her. Andi admits, in a confessional, that her openness to hearing that from him could be a huge sign of their potential.
All in all, it was a massive contrast in both passion and chemistry. Dylan seems like a great guy, but I'll be stunned if he lasts more than another week or two. Marcus seems to be where it's at. Marcus, Josh, and Nick. Or at least, those are the guys I thought were the frontrunners until the group date brought out a surprising challenger for Andi's affections...
Credit: ABC
FIVE-ON-FIVE
The group date involved the guys going to an arena to play basketball...against all-stars from the WNBA. As one might expect, it's a complete slaughter, with the guys getting decimated and schooled to such an extent that I found myself wondering what the point of the date was. But that soon became apparent when Andi announced that they were going to have the guys split into teams to play against each other for the right to go to an "afterparty" with her later that night. So, immediately, the guys are divided with The Rosebuds consisting of Brian, Eric, Cody, Marquel, Andrew and Nick, and The Five of Hearts consisting of Josh, JJ, Chris, Patrick and Tasos. The competitive nature of the guys was apparent from when they first started practicing before the date even officially got under way, but it became even more evident once it was declared that a date with Andi was on the line. It's not enough that Josh is a professional athlete, but he also hasn't gotten a whole lot of one-on-one time with Andi, so he's more than a bit obsessed with making certain his team wins.
Credit: ABC
What follows is a fairly back-and-forth game, with the game tied at six going into halftime (are they playing by ones, or are they really that bad?). In the second half, basketball coach Brian stakes his claim as MVP, drilling one shot after another and keeping the Five of Hearts from even making a dent in their lead until the final moments of the game. Andi is immediately turned on by Brian's prowess on the court, and it's not even close once the buzzer sounds. The Five of Hearts are obviously disappointed, all the more so because they can hear the Rosebuds celebrating in the adjacent locker room. But they head back to the hotel in defeat, left with little recourse, while the Rosebuds hit the town with Andi. While at the afterparty, Andi gets one-on-one time with each of the guys, and what we learn is fairly telling.
Andi feels that, since their first date, her relationship with Eric hasn't really progressed, and she wants to know why. Eric explains that he just didn't feel comfortable in such formal settings, even though Andi astutely observes that, well, this is what the show is. Andi states that she doesn't feel she knows all that much about Eric beyond his travels, and so he opens up about his brothers and sisters, and his Mormon upbringing before revealing that he left the church at age 26. Andi seemed satisfied with his answers, and confident that he was finally opening back up, but it was an ill omen of things to come.
We then get to learn a bit more about the guy everyone calls "Coach": Brian escorts Andi out onto the basketball court to give her a lesson on the fundamentals of the game. And, to his surprise, she actually proves to be fairly good. To his even bigger surprise, they hit it off really well, trading jokes back and forth and making bets, with Brian going for a half-court shot on the vague promise of getting something for it later. AND HE MAKES IT. Seriously, there's NO way he should have been able to sink that, but he makes it like it isn't even an issue. And, of course, Andi is extremely turned on by this, but because Brian admittedly sucks at reading a woman's signs, he doesn't go for the kiss -- he then proceeds to spend the rest of the night beating himself up over it. But going for it isn't a problem for Nick, who pulls Andi aside for a chat and a makeout session, admitting that he's having an increasingly difficult time suppressing his developing feelings for her.
THE DORFMAN FILES
Andi receives a love note from a secret admirer, delivered to her hotel room by the concierge. This, in itself, wouldn't be that strange, especially since Nick sent her flowers with a note just last night. But what's weird about this little detour is that it's never resolved. You'd think we'd find out the secret admirer's identity at the cocktail party before the Rose Ceremony, but because of the drama with Eric and the resulting decision to cut the Rose Ceremony from the episode altogether, we never learn the truth. And Chris Harrison never tells us. Perhaps it wasn't resolved at the Rose Ceremony after all, and it's part of a longer story arc than just tonight's episode. But even then, it's such a strange thing to bring up and then never mention again. You'd think we'd at least have gotten a confessional in which Andi notes how she's keeping an eye out for her secret admirer.
NO, YOU CAN'T READ MY POKER FACE
So it was a bit of a mess at the cocktail party, although it starts off well enough. Andi tells Tasos that she loves how unique he is and that she loves all the sweet little things he does for her (which we never see -- perhaps he was the secret admirer?). We also had more of Marquel being the jovial life of the party, teaching Andi self-defense by showing her how to do the rear-naked choke, since he works for the UFC (seriously, Team Marquel for Bachelor 2015. I know ABC would never do it, but they really friggin' need to). We even got Brian's redemption, as he takes Andi out into the basketball court and finally gives her the kiss he should have given her after the half-court shot. But then things got bleak, and deeply uncomfortable...
Eric takes Andi aside and proceeds to confront her over their conversation during the afterparty at the group date, saying that he thought about it quite a bit, and he came to the conclusion that she was the one who wasn't opening up, not him. Eric argues that he's only ever been open with her, but he feels he's only ever gotten fleeting glimpses of the real Andi. "I came here to meet a person, not a TV actress," Eric says, in one of those lines for which there's no "You just misinterpreted me!" justifications. Sure, he tries to spin it as Andi misunderstanding his meaning, as he still feels they have a real connection, and that this could be something worthwhile if they can just right the ship. But all he does is continue digging himself a deeper and deeper hole, saying that she's had a "poker face" up since day one, and that being around all these cameras is preventing her from being real with him. Naturally, Andi gets defensive to the point of tears, and she deserves all the credit in the world for keeping it together as well as she does. She says that Eric is insulting her by implying that she isn't real with these guys, arguing that he has no idea what it's like to look someone in the eyes and then send them home. Eric tries to save face, but Andi declares that this has just been a huge waste of both their time. In no uncertain terms, she asks him to get his ass gone, and he departs with a curt hug, peck on the cheek, and an apology, although Andi can only muster a "Thank you for your time" in response.
For sudden lack of a target to rip into, Andi goes over to the other guys and basically pulls the "schoolteacher yelling at the entire class for what one kid did at recess" bit, telling them that if any of them think she's fake or that she's giving them a poker face, they can walk their ass right out that door. Through tears, she states that all of this is real to her, whether they want to believe that or not. She then storms off, as the confrontation has basically killed the mood for the rest of the party. And I feel sort of bad for the Five of Hearts, who lost out on group date time, and have now been cheated out of one-on-one time at the cocktail party.
In departing, Eric explains that Andi didn't take things the way he meant it, although he realizes he erred in approaching the problem in that fashion. He notes that love and relationships lead to families, and that will continue to be a goal for him. It's then that Chris Harrison cuts in to let us know that this was the last scene in which Eric Hill will appear this season...
Credit: ABC
A DEATH IN THE FAMILY
Instead of a Rose Ceremony tonight, we had a special sitdown interview between Chris Harrison and Andi Dorfman, reflecting on Eric Hill, who is deemed a member of The Bachelor family. It's a surreal moment, as we're discussing someone whose death is barely a month old, and whose tragic end likely still plays a factor in this season, as Chris explains that Andi and the rest of the crew got the news during Hometown Visits. Thus, whatever effect his death will have on the season is likely to be explored on-camera. And I kind of dread it, in fact, since there's something so unfathomably dark about seeing people receive tragic news.
Andi spoke about Eric and what an impact he had on her, and she has mostly nice things to say about him. She admits that how things ended with Eric is not the kind of final conversation she'd ever want to have with anybody, and she regrets that she won't get to see him at the Men Tell All special to have one last joking conversation with him, since she's certain they would have gotten along, their blow-up having been water under the bridge by that point. Andi gets a bit choked up when noting that Eric had so much he wanted to do that he now won't get to, and that his presence will be truly missed. In short, it's kind of a subdued farewell, but mostly what was needed, since I find myself agreeing with Chris Harrison: I'm not sure a Rose Ceremony would have really fit. It wasn't that the conversation between he and Andi was so heavy that nothing could follow it without seeming in poor taste, but rather that every moment with Eric is underscored by the reality that this dude is gone. And not just from a reality show. So I get why they opted not to air the Rose Ceremony. With that said, I do wish they had found another way of communicating that Tasos had been eliminated rather than just having Chris casually announce it. They could have easily opened the next episode with Tasos's post-elimination farewell outside the mansion, instead of the seemingly minutes-long "Tonight, on The Bachelorette" nonsense they use to kick off every episode.
All in all, this was just incredibly strange. I don't know that there's a better way to have done tonight's show than how they did it, but I do know that this is a virtually unprecedented situation on American reality television. I'm sure something like this has happened before, with a contestant dying midseason (hell, it happened on France's version of Survivor, with the on-staff doctor going on to tragically commit suicide over the incident), although I'm not sure it's happened on a show with a profile this high. That said, I do think The Bachelorette crew handled it as well as they could have.
No new episode next week, but we have the promise of even more drama among the guys. So it should be explosive, to say the least.
So what did you think of tonight's episode? Was Eric in the wrong? Or was it really just a misunderstanding? Why do you think Tasos got cut? And did Andi give roses to the right guys? Sound off in the comments!