AI10 Top 24: The Sin Of Mediocrity

How sweet would be the taste of American Idol if only they imbibed Maya Angelou’s sage words of wisdom, “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better…” At first, better they did. But if the past 2 week’s of AI is indicative of the rest of what’s to come in season 10, then I pity the pallid palate. Especially when perusing the Top 24 – the hodgepodge of talent here is not even close to the abysmally awful bottom-of-the-barrel denizens of season 9, but rarely has such a rainbow of mediocrity permeated the Idol stages in such overtly wan connotations. Sure, there was much to loathe in last year's showcase, but at the very least, loathing invokes passion. This Top 24 – so far, at least – leaves you indifferent.

Season 10 began as a kinder/gentler Idol – in a post-Simon Idolwood, new judges Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler (despite that the interminably irrelevant hanger-on Randy Jackson couldn’t bless us with his retirement) brought a flair of A-List-ism to an otherwise C-List TV show. Certainly, Idol was and still is the #1 show on TV, but despite the billion dollars it Mack-trucked to Fox, and made multi-millionaires out of the judges panel, it could never shake its almost tabloid-like allure – it’s always been muddled in a welfare mockery. Lopez and Tyler, by their mere presence, elevated it to a superstar hierarchy.

Most scoffed when Lopez was announced as the newest Idol judge. Yes, a talented actress, a beautiful woman, a Hollywood force, and as A-List as Idol could’ve ever dreamed. But, despite millions of CDs sold and #1 singles that topped the charts, she has the vocal capacity of a gnat, and that always seems to irk a persnickety American public, forgetting the absolute fact that one needn’t be a naturally “good singer” to judge a wannabe – if that were true, then everyone of us watching should/could never voice our opinions even within the comforts of our living rooms. And Britney Spears, Katy Perry, Ke$ha, and a slew of other superstars since would be waiting tables at Hooters. Besides, if we are to measure the vox, Lopez sounds like Celine Dion if compared to former Idol loony Paula Abdul.

Steven Tyler – much to the dismay of his Aerosmith fans and the Rock ‘N Roll community (and not to mention his very own guitarist, Joe Perry) - took the gig because, well, why not? He’s already a legend, with millions in the bank, who never coasted on his history for relevance. Selling a ton of CDs or not, he – and Aerosmith – still make solid music for the intrinsic joy of it.

They seemed to be a winning pair and far more invested in the talent pool than Simon, Paula or Randy…or Simon, Paula, Randy and Kara….or Simon, Paula, Randy, Kara and Ellen…ever were. As established mega-stars, they know from where they speak, and they spoke to the Idols with innate knowledge, with seemingly genuine concern, legit critique, and best of all, the absolute joy of music. Lopez proved to be an exceptional mentor a few seasons back, instilling the contestants with solid advice and mentorship, and that which was entrusted to her has been doled out nicely this season. Tyler was the anti-curmudgeon, the slap-your-knee-happy grandpa with a piquant, sometimes tasteless, tongue, who giddily sang along with any auditioners who so moved him enough to.

But that was weeks ago. Lately, in the eyes of Idol’s newest judges, everyone is terrific, everyone is a star. I proposed a drinking game on twitter last night, and it could be fun: every time Tyler says “…that was beautiful…”, specifically after an otherwise dismal performance, we should all take a swig. But that would surely promote alcoholism. And, as frightening a reality as it is, I have to reluctantly admit that after watching the two sets of Top 12ers this week, it scares the shit out of me that I found myself more in agreement with Randy.

While the upcoming live performance shows will be the true tests of Lopez and Tyler’s adequacy as concise Idol magistrates, it’s glaringly apparent that the past two weeks have displayed the same been-there, done-that agenda of past seasons, passing over talented vocalists (15 year old Jaycee Badeaux and Colton Dixon as examples) for head-scratching curios with a freak-appeal (say, Jason Lusk) or rampant, flailing vocal wilding (Clint Jun Gamboa, James Durbin) masquerading as skill. And, for weeks they sold a soap opera that pitted bullies Clint and Jordan Dorsey against Jaycee, only to advance the two former earworms and dismiss the latter, cherub-faced meadowlark. It ain’t been pretty. Or fair.

I won’t bother to share my opinions of the performances of the Top 24 because as of Thursday, half will be history. Suffice it to say, some of the most overrated, overpraised, and least talented will surely make it through, leaving behind a trail of better qualified, more stable vocalists.